Hey, this is Val Selby, and after over 20 years online, I can track where my mindset has blocked me. If procrastination, imposter syndrome, and a lack of focus have been blocking your biz, then Val Full Volume is here to help you see choices you are making. Get ready to use your expertise to collaborate like a pro. As you create the business of your dreams, now is the time to make changes and live your best life. Let's get to it. Hi, lady. Thanks for coming back and listening. I'm really amped up that this is Episode 13, which I know 13 doesn't mean a lot for anybody else. Probably in fact, most people think 13 is an unlucky number. Thankfully, I never knew that 13 was an unlucky number when I decided it was my lucky number. Because so I love 13th, Friday the 13th. So, it's always brought me like amazing things, amazing luck. I remember, in school, I had quite a few friends whose birthdays were on the 13th. So you better believe we celebrated the hell out of them when they were on Friday the 13th. So it's our 13th episode here. And ironically, I wrote out a bunch of different topics that I want to talk about. I didn't number them, they're just kind of in this order kind of thing, you know, in this form, on a piece of paper. And ironically, guess what today was? This, talking about your dreams on Friday the 13th. Or not Friday? 13th I wish it was Friday the 13th. I don't even know what date is going out. But on the 13th episode. And I love that. I love that for the energy that right now I need to embrace personally, of my dreams. And my big question for you. What if the dreams come true? Do you just freak out a little bit? Because I know we're really excited about our goals and our dreams. And we can't wait. I mean, it's like, it's like we put so much on hold because someday we're going to get our dream. But what if, what if you get your dreams? Now I'm going to talk about this from a point where I'm at right now because I'm in the process. I mean, we're all in process of everything. But I'm in the process as I record this, of going through not sabotaging my dreams, and asking myself a lot of what if I've been looking ahead of these, these are my dreams, this is what I want to do. And this is the life I want to have. Lady, let me tell you, it's coming true. All of the hard work that I've put in over all of the decades. Here we go. And it's scary. Like my brain wants to say wait, what? Oh, hell, are we sure we can have this and we can sure we can do this? Because at this point right now, to quote my friend Kelly, her statement that she's always left to leave us with. She's an amazing mentor. I will have her on the show soon. Let me tell you. It's probable that I got to get this Kelly on here. But her big thing is what if it was easy? And I can tell you that what if it's easy scares me. It scared me a lot. I couldn't embrace it. I would not embrace it. Because things need to be hard. We need to struggle. We must struggle for art. Right? That's what creative people do. They struggle for their art, starving artists. But what if that's just a lie, somebody told to make themselves feel better. And somebody grabbed a hold of it and kept sharing and sharing because it made people feel better because misery loves company? What if that's the real story, which actually feels like it's probably the real story. You know, a group of people, that's what they came up with? Was that starving artists, suffering for your art and for your craft? And they're like, yes, we are suffering. We must be amazing. Can you not feel that being so true? Oh my gosh, I could feel being so true. Just popped in my head. And then we grabbed a hold of it. We ran with it. Because it made us feel better because we weren't hitting our goals. But what if you decide to let go of things that are difficult, that aren't serving you? And you just decide to go with the things that are easy for you to do? Because it's your area of expertise, your zone of genius, whatever you want to label it. It's the good stuff. So back to my goals or my original question. What if your dreams come true? You might have created a vision board, I hope or at least a vision list. A vision list, I don't know. Instead of like a bucket list, yeah, would a vision list be kind of like this bucket list thing? I don't know. I don't know where that's going. But what if you had this list of things that you want - a vision board, pictures, you know, the list that you're on. For example, for me, one of them is to go on this retreat in this place in Sedona and close for innovation. And I'm finally getting emails from them. And, and I'm working to see how that's going to be a reality. What if my dreams come true? What if I go to Sedona and go on this wonderful magical retreat that I've been dreaming about? What if my house on the lake that I want is actually happening? A couple of years ago, I was in my friend Rayven's Abundability year-long group that we had, so storytime, storytime, so I was in her group. And I will talk more about this, because she does have another group that's opening up and I'm in it right now. Let's see, it will be open. It'll be open and running, as of this episode going down. So I will include information, I will talk about that. Anyway, so I was in this group. And this was probably it was had to be more than two years ago, because of course, COVID, I lose those two years in COVID. And in it, we were working every month on a different topic, and dreaming and envisioning. And I was at quite a beginning of the process of all of that of really embracing all of that, which can be tough to do, even when you're a woowoo girl, even when you believe in own spirituality, and all of that my business side of the brain wanted to be like, Ah, no, but we still have to do all this and this and this, and this. So it was a great help. Because in my head, I was just, I was just stuck on I will buy my lake house, me, you know, not as a family thing. I want to be able to afford to build or not build, could have been built. But to buy my business house, I was setting that goal of I needed to earn all of this money myself, because I just to me, that was going to be my sign of success, right? So Rayven, and others in the group really opened up my mind of Okay, so what if you don't have to buy the house? Then I'm like, Well, but wait a minute. That's like, you know, I'm in my head. That's my part of my sign of success was like, okay, so we had to process what do you want the lake house? Or do you want all the payments and the headache of the lake house and all of that, or you just want the enjoyment of the lake house? And that's kind of like, okay, well, I do just want the enjoyment of the lake house. So they left it open, you're like, Okay, so can you just leave it open that that you don't really care? We don't care how we're getting there. We just want the lake house like, yep. So I left that open, because what if it's just someplace I rent with someplace I rent for a month, you know, goals, right? I don't have to squash them. I just knowing what the house. And I can envision the lake house, I can envision sitting on the deck with my feet up, laptop on my lap, waving at my husband on the lake, because he's going out fishing, and I'm not going. Not that I don't like going fishing. But I don't always want to go fishing. So I loved the fact that he walked on down to the water, and he got in the boat, and he left and I'm waiting, right? Just gonna sit there with my laptop and do whatever work I want to be doing on that day in sunshine. I can picture it. I mean, picture it. I've been picturing the same view for years now, for a few years now. And it was on Vrbo. I think that's what you're supposed to call it. I don't know, I always call it VRBO. I was on Vrbo randomly looking at my favorite lake. And really randomly looking at houses because I was like, well, maybe for our family trip. Maybe instead of where we normally go, maybe maybe who knows, maybe I'll find the perfect house on the lake there. And we'll rent it and the dogs can all be there and everybody be happy, especially since it would be nice if we didn't have to all pay for boarding for our dogs. And all of a sudden I'm clicking and there's only three houses that are popping up around the sides. And I I mean completely randomly hiding from everything looking for. And I clicked on one of them, clicked into the pictures, as I always do. And on the third picture, there was my house. The third picture was literally the view that I have been envisioning, except for the porch railing was different that I can fix up. It was 100% the view that I have been picturing for years of where I want to have my ass planted, and I went, Oh God, it's right there and I can rent it. You can rent the house. What if your dreams come true? And stuff like this has been showing up and happening and it's scary. I have to process. I have to process that I'm worthy. That it's okay to get everything you want. Because we live in this world, right? Where it's just not okay. I mean, it's like, you can't talk about yourself because that's bragging, you can't have everything because then oh god, you're just like the 1%. You're just like dominant stuff and judging, judging, judging, judging, when we watch other people judge other people so much that we assume if we do those things that they're judging us as well. And they probably are, which is why they feel that way. I mean, how many times can you watch somebody or listen to somebody judge somebody for something, of course, you're going to know that if it happens to you or for you, that they're going to be saying the same thing. They've already shown us that right. So we're like, that's uncomfortable. It's uncomfortable. So maybe your dreams could be coming true, but you're sabotaging them. So speaking of the dreams, I don't necessarily want to talk with you today about exactly how you're getting your dreams. I already told you, you know, the manifesting stuff. And hopefully, you're not going to Oh, my God, where'd that come from? It's all together, all the spirituality, everything, the science, all of it, all of it really does come together, when you embracing it. It's all pieces of the same puzzle, and how it works and how you feel. But I do want to get into the craziness of the uncomfortableness of when I saw that house. Now the funny thing is, is I never really envisioned what the rest of the house looks like. So I'm looking at the pictures on attached. I'm like, okay, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. It was only that picture of that deck that I am attached to, highly attached to, super highly attached to. And it it was a vision of one of my dreams as a goal to keep working on my business to keep building my business. But what I didn't realize was it was also part of my goal to changing things in my business, because stuff's not working, I need to change it. So I needed to get to back. Now also part of the dreams and the envisioning. That's the one that I really want to get into. Not only what if your dreams come true, but a big one that I have written right here. I've had sitting here for a couple of weeks. This this question, how would you feel if all of your dreams come true, and that's when I get the little bit of fear, the scary stuff comes in, even though I've been doing the work for a little while. That's one right now that's bubbling up and I have to remember how I feel when my dreams come true. So five years ago, four years ago, something like that, I read an email from somebody and I, gosh, I wish I knew who had sent it when I opened it. But I knew at that time that I connected with it, and I connected with the words. But I definitely didn't know at that time how much I connected and how much it was a turning point. For me going to these are what I want and just kind of like writing things out and writing big goals. And these are, you know, life goals kind of thing. Writing them all out and actually connecting and feeling those goals that told you we're again now live live here. I love it. I love that I'm not saying woowoo as if it's a sorry, we're going to go woowoo today? No, it's it is it's spiritual woowoo however, we want to label it, there's a big difference between writing down all of the goals, writing down who we want to be, and actually feeling that a huge difference. And the words that were in that email finally clicked for me so that I was envisioning who I wanted to be and not just envisioning who I wanted to be. But feeling how she feels, feeling the confidence that I did it, feeling the confidence that I was successful, whenever successful means that that was not part of the process. Feeling all of those positive feelings, knowing that I was proud of myself for getting there. I was there. What does that feel like? What does that look like? What are you doing? Who are you hanging out with? These are all questions on my workshops. All questions no. I can't right this minute remember exactly which workshops, probably the workshop. But it was the actual physical connection with the feeling of knowing I'd done it. And the confidence it started building of knowing I will be her because I already am her didn't lose. Yeah, sometimes feelings are so hard to explain. So this is like one of those things that I definitely want to talk about more and more and more because there's going to be a certain way that it's going to click for you and you're going to like hear it and it's going to be like that email was for me, and it's gonna be like Oh, yeah, duh, I get it. But it's bringing the physical bringing the mental and bringing the feeling and emotion in with it as well. One major thing is, then you can recognize when it's happening, and you can recognize that, okay, I'm going to work through this uncomfortable feeling, because I know how I'm going to feel on the other side, right? I have already seen, I have already felt how I am going to feel when I get to that other side, and I am living my dreams. And I know I want that. So I'm going to go through the scary, uncomfortable part where I have to adjust to it being a reality. Just still doesn't matter how much we have been telling ourselves that this is all going to happen and feeling that it's going to happen and believing and 100% Believing it when it starts happening. It's Oh, shit. It's Oh, shit. I'm really getting what I want. It's really happening. Then you got to work through old habits, make sure the old habits don't pop up. But that's for another episode. That's definitely for another episode. So I want you to just stop safely stop, wherever you are, if you're driving, be careful, be safe. And consider how would you physically feel? If all of your dreams come true? What would that feel like? And ask yourself, what would my brain be telling me if all of my dreams come true? And I could look back and see everything that I had done to get there? You know, I don't want you to process everything you did to get there. That's not it at all. I want you to just look at Yeah, I did all that and how proud you are of yourself. And you can even look back now. I mean, goodness, I'm about ready to hit 50 and I know I can look back now and be proud of so many things that I have done so many things. Were those things hard. Was there a lot of hardships and stuff in there? Yes, there was because I did like to create hardship. But I can look back and be proud of everything. Well, if I had sat down and looked ahead and said this is where I want to be right now where I am right now, this is how I would be feeling and this is probably not even going to make sense. Ten-year ago me would be so happy to be sitting right here right now. Right? As it is all happening as I'm getting it. So take that into consideration as well. You've come a long way you've done a lot of things. Ten year old past self, ten years ago self, it's awkward as hell, ten years ago, you would be so proud of you right now and how much you changed and how much you've grown and, and all that you've done. So keep considering that every step is a good step in the right direction. As long as it's what you want to be doing and created in your life. So sit and play with that. How would you feel if all your dreams come true? And I will catch you in the next episode. Later.