0:36
Hey, hey, hey! I want to talk to you about old habits today. Have you figured out any of your habits that pop back in when you are extremely overwhelmed in a season of extreme overwhelm? Do you even know what habits are that you need to change? Have you even figured them out yet? Let's jump into it.

1:03
Okay. So as I've talked about, I'm in a season of extreme overwhelm. It's been going on for a few months, yeah, I guess two months or so. And it's, I'm not even going to label it as good or bad. It just is what it is. And it will come out in a great way.

1:19
But there have been times that I've been trying to cram over 40 hours a week and in three real days of working in, that doesn't work right? Old me still wants to pretend that that's going to work. Newer me is just like, girl, you know that shit don't work. We have tried it for decades, and it doesn't work.

1:43
There's just no way. Our brain only works for so long before it shuts down. And then you just stare at the screen, and you're wasting your energy staring at the screen.

1:55
So to start off with, it is good to sit there and figure out what the habits are that you are doing, you have to become aware first of the habits that you are doing that you want to end, you know, habits for me, you know, my self sabotage, when I am overwhelmed. My self sabotage just loves to just come in and just start shaking shit up.

2:18
It comes in typically as amazing new ideas, which should not be a negative, right. But it wants to take me in a complete opposite direction or off on a tangent in a similar direction that my brain can actually rationalize, well, in the long run, this is kind of working on the same thing. And it's kind of helping in the same way. And it's totally talking me into the "Yeah, we should be doing this." That's a big self sabotage, for me, is new ideas.

2:52
The better thing I have learned for myself when I am extremely overloaded in life, is to really, really focus on what's working. And this is good for anytime in our business, but what is working, and go very, very limited on what is working, and really, really work on just that. I mean, scale it back.

3:20
Because if I'm trying to cram 40 plus week into three days, I'm paying attention that my brain is trained to tell me "Okay, all of this stuff still needs to get done." And I'm saying 40 plus hours a week because that's just the season than I am right now.

3:38
But because I was taking the business on all on my own. So I'm taking my business partners stuff and my stuff in I'm I'm still working out exactly how to be the best project manager that I could possibly be. I'm still learning that. And it's going glorious. I love it. But it's still a learning process for me.

3:59
So I'm still in my brain going, "oh my gosh, you have to get all of this stuff done." And realistically, I'm not going to be working while I'm road tripping over to my in laws. And that's one day back and forth. You know, figuratively and when I'm there, I realistically not going to be sitting at the computer for hours working, I might have the computer in my lap, but I'm still being really present.

4:24
So I mean, I might sit there for three hours with a computer. I don't but I could sit down with a three hours the computer in my lap for three hours. I'm realistically probably getting like a 20 minute job done in that time. Right?

4:36
So a lot of the time I'm just focused on Okay, don't even don't even if unless I'm going to open it up for a single project at the kitchen table. Just don't even open the computer because you know you're not you're just not.

4:47
So that's why right now in my brain it's 40 plus hours a week that I'm trying to cram in, because that's when I'm like at home sitting at my my PC and trying to cram in work. Still can't get 40 plus hours in those three days, that's just not possible. It's not going to happen.

5:07
So I have to pay attention to "Okay, well, what can I make happen? What will I make happen? What is the least amount of work that I can get done and have a very good return? What is the best return on the investment of my time? And what can I push aside until later?" And not even say when later is going to be right now? When can I just set it aside?

5:36
And believe me, this is the time when I am super overwhelmed. Do you do this as well? This is when the brainstorming I mean, my brain is going whoa, look at all of this stuff. If we only had a team of 1000, holy crap, my brain is going Holy crap, we had a huge team, look at all the stuff we could do, we would be doing this, it would this and this.

5:58
And all of that is great, and energizing, except for when my brain is also going. So okay, let's just do this one little step. And that will help and we'll be working towards that goal. No, not right now. Brain. Not right now. Right now, overload is going on, and you are trying to self sabotage, you're trying to sabotage me, stop. I'm not falling for it.

6:22
That is one of my big, big, big, old habits. And the amazing thing about knowing what my old habits are, because I've written them down or done the workshop or wrote the book. No, I wrote the guides, wrote the workshop. It's in my year old life.

6:40
So I guess what I one of the things that my brain wants me to do is go and grab all of the workshops that are at my other two websites and bring them over and my brain wants to do it right now because my brain is telling me that that would be the easy thing to do. It's not I have to adapt them and change them and rebrand them.

6:59
And yes, I could have some of that off to my team. But a lot of it I have to do myself. So that's not helpful brain, stop it brain. But I do have a workshop at Your Bold Life for figuring about, figuring out the habits and all of that.

7:14
So it's it will be coming over, believe me, I'm bringing the mindset over to Bundle Bash, but not right now. Because I don't have a team of 1000. I don't know, a thousand, that is, that's like huge number. I don't even know where that came from.

7:30
But I don't have a ginormous unlimited team that could just walk in and just know with barely me even thinking and take care of that. So brain, no brain, not right now. But it will be coming so that you can sit down and figure out what your habits are, too.

7:48
'Cause it's not that. At first, it was difficult for me to recognize what the habits were that I wanted to change. Because they're habits. They're easy. They're things that I'm doing without even knowing it. And when I really decided to change what was going on for the better, because I didn't want to bring the energy that I was bringing to everything, I started figuring out, "Oh, look at this pattern. Oh, huh. Look at this pattern."

8:23
So the self-sabotage was something that I figured out quickly, and was first among other things. Other things, oh my gosh, now I've got self-sabotage all over the brain because that was the one that came back the most. Definitely coming up with new ideas. That is something that I go back to. And when I'm saying coming back to old ideas, it also goes back to running multiple websites. I can now look back, realize that running multiple websites at the same time was definitely a form of self-sabotage. But it was also part of my upbringing.

9:06
And something that I recognized in my dad, and it did take me a little bit to recognize that, "Oh my gosh, I'm doing the same thing. I'm just doing it a little bit different way." So running through websites. And this is a similar thread to running multiple websites, for one, trying to be everything to everybody because that works. But the running of multiple websites, the building products, and not doing a good job of marketing them doing an amazing job of putting the courses together. They are wonderful and amazing. And then I just field the dreams, that "we'll build it and they will come", right? No, no, no, that's not how that's not how it works in business anymore, at all, hasn't for two decades.

9:58
It's not "to build it" anymore. Because I had to recognize that that also was a form of self-sabotage. And it was just a really bad habit that I would go back into. And for me, I figured out that I was doing that because if everything, if it doesn't get my full 100%, all the way, every single aspect 100%, so the building of it, and for me, the marketing of it was the last piece. So that's where I would drop the ball. So then it would fail, right? And that would be good for me that it failed, because that was my protection. If I didn't market it, then I knew it was going to fail. So I didn't have the rejection going on.

10:47
For one thing, I also didn't have the judgment. Because if nobody saw it, they couldn't judge whether it was good or not, right? So I couldn't technically fail. Because I never really, really finished it. And holy shit, that was two more. See, I said no more shots, that has to be at least 12 or 15 shots. So don't play the "really" shot game. So there was never that final piece, there was always one piece that didn't get full attention. And that way I couldn't fail. There's always that one piece that was just like, "well, of course, because if I had marketed for two weeks plus, or set up this marketing launch plan, then it could have been successful, then it probably would have been successful."

11:37
I've definitely can look back and realize where I've left it open. Like I said, I witnessed it in my dad, and I picked it up from his habits, but that it's definitely something I don't want anymore, so I get to change it. And that is something that bubbles up and I'm aware of it. I am aware of procrastination is a big part of that as well. It is a habit that I do not want anymore. It is not a habit that is good for me. It is something that I have told myself, "Well, this is the way you are, you've always been this way. So why do you expect it to change now?" Well, for one, I get to choose to change it. And I have. And for two, just because I've always done something doesn't mean that it was actually working.

12:26
You know, just because I was always that girl that was filling out her writing her papers the night before in high school and in college doesn't mean that that was my best foot forward, or the best way to go about it. It just means that that's what I was doing. And it worked enough to more than get me by. Well, if I don't want to just get by, right? Then I get to make changes, and you get to make changes too. So I'm aware of these things popping up.

12:56
One thing that definitely happens and is the easy way for me to first start recognizing this is, and I'm over here looking at all my pieces of paper, because work in progress. I'm always a work in progress. The big thing was that I had miles and miles of to-do lists. And when I say to-do list, I wasn't thinking that all needed to get done today. But it was like brainstorming to-do lists. I mean, it was everything on there. And that was one of the combinations of the overwhelm and the overload of my brain right was all of these lists all over the place.

13:37
I mean, even like not throwing away and rewriting the list is really good for me to do, because then I can realize that you know what, you've done almost everything on the list. But I'm looking at one specifically right now. And there's probably 20-30 things on this list. I am telling you right now that this is where I am coming from. I don't ever pretend that I am perfect. I am just aware. And then I can make changes and put my new better habits into practice. And it cycles through. It always cycles through.

14:11
I can go a really good long time without lists all over the place. And then all of a sudden, I'm going to take a look at my desk and go, "Whoa, whoa, look what's happening. Pay attention, but sit, take on this and figure it out." So that's where I was. And I'm in the process of it right now. But I'm looking at the list and it has so much stuff on it. And over half of it's already crossed off. So I love crossing things off. A lesson paper girl loves to cross it off. There's never just one line through it because one line through it doesn't mean that it happened. It has to be scribbled out.

14:54
I don't care if you agree with that or not. Some of you understand. I know you are understanding exactly what I'm talking about multiple crosses through, it's like this shit is done. And I'm looking at it going, "Oh my word, change this, rewrite it so that the list is only showing five or six things so that I know that I am being productive. And I have gotten stuff done and it's done and gone stop even looking at it as it's crossed off." 

15:23
So, I am aware, right, this moment that I need to, after this recording, rewrite this list. Because as soon as I rewrite this list, my brain instantly goes into, "oh my God, we can get all of this stuff done". It's just this, versus I've got a full list, paper full. And my brain is going, "oh my God, there's so much stuff on here".

15:44
Old habits, old habits that I'm letting loose, and then they pop back up. Because that's the lazy way for me. My brain was to go back into lazy old habits. And I don't want to be that way anymore.

16:00
So one of the things with bad habits popping back up, I don't know if you've done any self, any mindset work, any changing. I don't know how much, what level you're into. I know when I first started working on mindset changes. I was doing it on my own, because I like to do things the hard way. That's my favorite thing to do, make everything difficult.

16:26
I didn't even think to look out there for answers because I didn't even really know, oh, God, there was, again, really, I wasn't aware that I was going through needing to change my mindset. So it wasn't even a fact that I could Google to change something. Because I didn't know I wanted to change. I just, it's weird looking back on it.

16:52
But I did a bunch of work on my own, wrote the workshops about it because I didn't do the hard way. And I thought that once I did the work, I was like, boom, okay, give me my certificate. I finished that. And I rocked it. And it's done and gone, buried over.

17:11
And I think it was probably six months later. And thankfully, I had a friend that was going through similar mindset changes at the same time. So when I was talking to her about it, I'm like, "Okay, what's this bullshit, I'm like, because I just finally I just, I'm over it, I did this, I changed it. I said, I just now realize that I'm doing it again. And I'm not okay with that. Why the hell, I've got the certificate, I finished it, I put it away. It's packed away, never to return, right?"

17:41
And then that's kind of when I started going, looking at more mindset stuff. And I'm like, "oh, gosh, I'm always going to have all of this stuff pop back up." It was a real downer. To tell you it was a big downer, I am a finish line girl. I am, get to the finish line, earn the medal, crossed it off the list. And self-improvement is not a finish line crossed off the list kind of thing. It's a constant work in progress.

18:21
So I know that that's kind of, okay for me. It was depressing. Honestly, was, I like, when to do like a serious downer for at least 24 hours. It could've been a little bit longer. When I was talking to my friend going, "This is bullshit. What the hell no, I'm aware. So now I just have to keep going through it." I'm like this pity party.

18:45
Maybe it won't hit you as hard. But just in case it does, I want you to be fully aware that all of this stuff just comes back up. And the beauty of it is it's going to come back up and you're going to recognize it and be able to change it. You're going to recognize your little red flags of those bad habits popping back in trying to create chaos for you and pretending that they're trying to make your life better.

19:15
Those old habits are going to pop back up. And they do for everyone. You're not alone. Reach out to me if it's happening. Absolutely reach out to me. I will commiserate with you. I will call it bullshit with you. I will be pissed off at it when I will hear you. But just know that it's never done. It's constant. But it gets quicker.

19:40
It gets quicker and you will realize that stuff's coming up and you'll be like, "Oh hell no. I'm not doing that anymore. You know, I'm not doing that anymore." That is not leading me into the choices the life that I want.

19:55
So, all right. Are you aware of your old habits? That are popping up that you don't want anymore. Do you need help figuring out habits that you want to get rid of? I constantly hear people having a focus problem. That is a bad habit focused problem with bad habit, one that you can change. Okay.

20:16
We'll have to talk about that later on. So, thanks for being here. I appreciate you. I'll see you next week.