Val Selby [00:00:06]:

Hey, this is Val Selby and after over 20 years online, I can track where my mindset has blocked me. If procrastination, impostor syndrome and a lack of focus have been blocking your biz, then Val Full Volume is here to help you see choices you are making. Get ready to use your expertise to collaborate like a pro as you create the business of your dreams. Now is the time to make changes and live your best life. Let's get to it!

Val Selby [00:00:36]:

Hello. I am so happy you are here. So this is Val Selby of Val Full Volume. And I know I've been bringing in a lot of new people, so I just all of a sudden felt that I needed to see that it's hey, it's me. It's Val. I have been in growth mode. Rebuild. I don't know if I like the word rebuild. Growth mode is for sure the right word in personal in business, yes. For me, those are very much the same. One is not ever having growth without the other because we're entrepreneurs, right? So everything is business and life.

Val Selby [00:01:24]:

For us, it's all the same. And it's been a lot. It's been a year of a lot. And I've seen the light starting to peek through at the end of the tunnel. I'm feeling the connections coming back. And here we go. And this is the direction we're going. And I can do it all.

Val Selby [00:01:51]:

And I don't mean I can do it all as in I can get everything done and I've got a million hours. I mean, it's going to happen. Here we go. We're going to make it happen. I'm going to do it all because this is the way. Because this is the way. And that really is it's part of that whole focus thing of this is the way. When you can't figure out what way this is, that's one of the hardest things, right? And that's leading me to what I want to talk about today because this is one of my red flags and I just caught myself doing it.

Val Selby [00:02:30]:

Part of what I'm going to talk about. I caught myself doing it and I'm like, oh, yes, there we go. Podcast episode always shows itself. I need to record today. And yeah, we need to talk about this. And then I looked over and I have postit note and I actually kind of had this topic already sitting on a postit note to record. So obviously it has been popping up in multiple places because I had written it on my postit note already to talk about this. And I want to talk about the whole, I guess it is part bright, shiny object, grass screener on the other side, somebody has that perfect information that I need.

Val Selby [00:03:08]:

That's what I really want to talk about, coaching with multiple people at the same time. And now here's the thing. When I'm talking about coaching, I'm not talking just about your one on one coaching like you're coaching with two different coaches. I'm not just talking about that. Coaching means that you are pulling information from somebody. So it could be a challenge. It could even be a free challenge, multiple free challenges. It could be courses from various different people and the one on one coaching and maybe Voxer and maybe email coaching or maybe just following somebody and you really are trying to emulate.

Val Selby [00:03:52]:

Love it when the word comes up quickly, emulate what they're doing. All of that can be considered a form of coaching because you're pulling information from them whether they know it or not. How many places are you pulling information from? Yeah, I'm going to get a little soapboxy. How many places are you pulling information from? Now, for me, I know that when I am in an unfocused season, not really clear about what direction I want to go, what I want to do next. My brain, as it's spinning and I'm sitting doing nothing because my brain is spinning, that's when I start following a bunch of new people. I find all of these challenges. Next thing I know, I am in five challenges in one week, right? Do you feel me? Do you do this as well? And I start looking for even more because I'm looking for the answers. And I'm aware of this now.

Val Selby [00:04:55]:

I still do it. Just because we're aware of stuff and we've made changes doesn't mean that we don't continue to do it. One of the hardest things about learning this whole self development thing is that we're still going to do it, damn it, but we're going to recognize it much sooner. And I caught myself today. I've joined a new challenge. I'm excited to join this new challenge. It's Friday. It starts on Monday.

Val Selby [00:05:25]:

And there's already the offer, of course, as there should be, for the VIP to have a little bit more hands on, right? And my brain instantly went, oh, my gosh. Oh, I should do that. And then thankfully, very quickly, my brain also went, okay, how many different membership coaches are you already following? How many programs have you bought in the last year? Are you following through on them? You don't even know this woman yet. You do not know if your styles are going to be similar or if you're even going to like her style. Move away from the button on the computer. You do not need to join VIP. You don't even know her. And I was just like, oh, my gosh, I'm so doing it again.

Val Selby [00:06:13]:

So doing it again. And I know that's also part of my personality. I go all in. I'm an all in personality, so I have to battle that and be careful of it and just watch it. But like my brain told me, how many membership coaches am I already in programs with? And I'm not using what I have. I'm not using the resources that I have. I can name you two big ones right now that I've paid really good money for and I haven't used those resources and I need to pay attention to why have I not used those resources. Now, for me right now, I can tell you why.

Val Selby [00:06:55]:

This year has been nothing but extreme highs and extreme lows. It's been a chaotic year and hopefully I'm throwing that out to the universe. I would like to just do a little even keel, just a little bit here and there in between. Not just extremes. Can we just have a little even keel in the middle just here and there. I'm not expecting a miracle, not looking for the miracle. And I'd also honestly get bored if I didn't have highs and lows, right, would totally get bored. I know this about myself.

Val Selby [00:07:28]:

I would just like some mellow medium, just a little bit here and there so I can gather my brain and figure out what direction. So as I pay attention to that, I need to give myself permission to be like, okay, well that's why we didn't dig into that. That's why we're looking for something new. It's because part of my brain tells me, oh, well, we didn't get into it, so we must not have liked it, so we must need somebody else. We must need something new. Not the case at all. I didn't have time or energy or mental capacity to dig into that stuff. So I just have to go and pretend, tell myself it's new and fun, all right, because it's not a bright shiny object anymore.

Val Selby [00:08:14]:

Now I've already paid for it and I need to use it. So I need to remind myself, hey, let's go spend a few hours every day next week telling myself right this freaking minute, as a matter of fact, let's set this as a priority next week. Let's set aside an hour every day and go through that program and see what happens. What if I'm already sitting on the program? That will explode exactly what I want to do. I mean, I joined these things because they were amazing when I first signed up. So where did I lose that? And I know for me it's been a weird year. It's been a super weird year. So I can pick up now and do it and not do both of them, right?

Val Selby [00:09:01]:

And this leads me to something that I have really been focusing on when I'm bringing new clients in of any kind, any kind. If people are talking to me, whether you've hit me up on a reply on my email or we're going to do one on one coaching or group coaching or any of that, I am paying attention to the cues that get spoken. If you're already working with somebody or multiple somebody's, a flag, it's a flag means you are doing very similar to what I just described that I know I do. And since I do that, I'm pretty good at spotting it in others. Now that I'm aware, I'm pretty good at spotting it pretty quickly. And it's important to spot it. Because if you are already working with somebody in some capacity, free, paid, I don't care if you are already working with somebody and you have something that you do want to follow but you hit a roadblock or mentally confidence or any of that stuff, I want you to continue what you are doing. I want you to use the resources that you already have in front of your face and I want you to follow through. Backwards, right? I'm not the coach that's going to come in and say, all right, I'm the only one that has all the information because I damn sure do not have all the information.

Val Selby [00:10:41]:

I might be able to find you all the information. I definitely know how to do that. I have a lot of context for that. But I'm not going to be the one to tell you that my way is the only way. In fact, I am completely uncoaching myself and most people that I work with anymore. Uncoaching. Because so many times we're looking for that perfect way that if I just have the perfect funnel, if I just have the perfect this, everything will flow and my business will be amazing and will be six, seven figures. Okay? If that was an option and there was a perfect one way to do business, we would all be doing it, right? We would all be doing it. There's no one way to do anything.

Val Selby [00:11:35]:

And I know because I know from my experience, remember, this is why it's really hard for my clients to pull one over on me, because I understand I fight my human brain just the same as anybody else. I know that when shit gets hard and we lose confidence and we're like, oh, God. But then that's immediately when we want to go look for something else. Because obviously this isn't going to be the fit for us, right? We need to go find something else. We need to go find a different answer because that other answer is not going to be so scary. And newsflash, you got to do the scary. So if you go and look for somebody else, all it's going to do is throw more information at you. And that's the big problem.

Val Selby [00:12:28]:

That is a big problem. Probably a number one issue that I have with bringing in new clients is when they're not talking about, well, I am doing this and I am doing that from so and so and so and so. It could be one person. It could be ten people. You would be amazed. I mean, how many people are you trying to follow right now in your inbox? And they are telling me, well, so and so said to do this, and so and so said to do that. And I don't have a problem with regurgitating information back to me because who knows what I might get out of that. My problem is if you believed in that person and what they were doing and how it worked with your business, why are we having a conversation about it? Right? Let me state this as one of the major problems.

Val Selby [00:13:26]:

When you are following a bunch of people, then you're automatically, because your brain can only hold so much, you're automatically picking and choosing the information from all of those people. And that means you're not following through on any of it because you're picking and choosing what you are going to do. Now, I am not saying that you get into some program, coaching program and everything is 100% for you. I'm definitely not saying that. But I am saying when you overload yourself on multiple mentors and coaches all at once, you will automatically be grabbing the information that you want to hear and easily ignoring the information you don't want to hear. And what's the information you don't want to hear? The scary shit that's going to make you grow. So it's part protecting ourselves and trying to keep it easy. When we get a bunch of different coaches or mentors and we start working different programs all at once, it's definitely a part of that.

Val Selby [00:14:34]:

Self sabotage. I'm not going to throw this out in the universe, old me, because I'm working on it. Work in progress, just like you. Old me love to self sabotage. I'm really, really great at it. I've had years and years and years of practice. New me, growing me. I don't want to do that anymore.

Val Selby [00:14:54]:

I don't want to self sabotage anymore. I want to hit my goals. And the only way I can do that is by following a program because I fell in love with it and writing it out even through the scary stuff or just the yuck stuff that I don't want to do, right? But it takes just following one, maybe two. I mean, there's no exact number to this because it depends where you are at and what you're working on. But I'm paying attention right now to the fact that I do not need another membership coaching program to help me with the answers. I need to implement. Implement. There's no power in grabbing new coaches or grabbing new anything, any challenges, any of that stuff.

Val Selby [00:15:52]:

There's no power in that unless there's implementation. So what are you sitting on and not actually implementing? I know you have a ton of courses, we all do. Even newbies. Even newbies have a ton of courses that they have signed up for. Where you're paid. So what are you sitting on that you have not fully implemented? What program were you in that you're like, oh my God, this is going to be it. This is the one I'm going to get so much information on. And you started with module one and there it sits. You haven't done anything with it.

Val Selby [00:16:32]:

Why? Pay attention to why. Now back to coming around. I really want to leave you with paying attention to how many people are you trying to grab information from right now and how can you narrow that down? I hope you can narrow it down by me. I would love to work with you, but how can you narrow it down? What are you looking for? What is going to help you the most right now that you really want to implement right now to grow your business? Take a look at that. Take a look at who you're already following and go through your emails even and just start unsubscribing from the noise. Just try to narrow it down, that noise, so you can get really clear on working with that one person. Because what if you have the person in front of you that will help push you to hit your goals? What if they're already right there but everything's so noisy. You have so much going on.

Val Selby [00:17:33]:

You are trying to get so much information from so many different sources that you can't focus and ride that one thing to the end with implementation. You could already have it right now. It could be right there in front of you. I'm pretty sure I have one right in front of me that I'm going to work on that. I am definitely going to work on that. I'm going to get rid of the rest of the noise and just hyper focus on that one major, huge class that I knew was going to be it. It's a big class. It is. It's really big class.

Val Selby [00:18:16]:

And I know my brain says, oh, we need to be doing but it's like, yeah, but what if I pay attention and I follow this through and I take that time because I'm going to take the time anyways, but what if I take the time and really go through this and really pay attention? Because I followed and I bought this. I paid a lot of money for it specifically because I believed in them and what they are teaching and how they are teaching it. And I'm not giving it proper attention and full implementation. What will my business look like when I do? And I might be scared of that. I could be, I don't know. I won't know until I get there or part of the process of going through it. But I want you to pay attention to the noise and start narrowing the noise down and really start paying attention to who do you want to listen to, who's in alignment with you, who's teaching what you know you want to hear right now? And I hope it's me because you're here. I would love to work with you more if you'd like.

Val Selby [00:19:26]:

I am open to one or two more one on one clients. So if that is you and you want some help getting through the noise and know that you're working with somebody that sees the bullshit. I'd love to work with you more. All right. I will chat at you next week. Have a good one.