Val Selby [00:00:06]:

Hey, this is Val Selby and after over 20 years online, I can track where my mindset has blocked me. If procrastination, impostor syndrome and a lack of focus have been blocking your biz, then Val Full Volume is here to help you see choices you are making. Get ready to use your expertise to collaborate like a pro as you create the business of your dreams. Now is the time to make changes and live your best life. Let's get to it!

Val Selby [00:00:36]:

Hello! Thanks for being here another week of me. This is Val Selby, Val Full Volume. And if you've been listening for a while, don't freak out because I'm gonna tell you something. I made notes about what I wanted to talk about today. I know. Freaking out right now, aren't you? That's so not me. And that's kind of a bit about what I'm gonna go through is what does that even mean? That's so not me. And I do that half jokingly of, you know, like, if you're a friend, you're just like, well, to Val, are you okay? Of course, that's just me making that up in my head, right? And that's because in my head, that's what I make up about how I do most things is not super duper planned out. And I do plan things out, and I do have goals. And I know how my brain works for the most part, I know how my brain has previously worked. We can go on that.

Val Selby [00:01:50]:

I don't know how it's gonna work in the future. Right? That's totally where we're going. I know how my brain has worked in the past. I know things that have worked in the past. I know previously I've joked with clients and members of memberships over the years about how if I can pull up some files, I still have a file cabinet, so there's possibly some in there. Previous years where I have mapped out the most gorgeous marketing and contact plans you'll probably ever lay eyes on, right? And they never had the follow through because it was too much. It wasn't how my brain wanted to be.

Val Selby [00:02:32]:

And I know right now, my brain is really scattered. I'm coming out of you know, you've been hearing me talk about it. I'm coming out of this giant chaotic season. I'm still not out of it. I'm giving myself grace about it, but I'm coming out of this huge season. And as I'm coming out of it, there's a lot of change that's going on. And with this change, I'm also telling myself, "Okay, just because something didn't work before doesn't mean we don't try it again."

Val Selby [00:03:13]:

And that comes with the planning. Specifically, what I'm talking about is with the planning because I know previously I have bought it. I fought it, like, with this creative heart going, oh my God. If it's all planned out, then there's something fun comes up that I really wanna do that I can't do it because it's not in the plan, and that's so ridiculous. It's so ridiculous. It's so rigid. It's so black and white of only can do this, only can do that. There's nothing in between.

Val Selby [00:03:46]:

We can't make changes. No wonder why my body and soul just, like, fought against it. But then there's the opposite of knowing telling myself that I'm not a planner, and I've gone through this. I'm telling myself that I'm not a planner, so it's okay. And then you're just not even throwing spaghetti at the walls because you are just absolutely willy nilly like, okay, what do I want to talk about today? We just had a summit a couple weeks ago, and I was talking to them. And I'm talking, and they're going, this is so me. When I went extremely other way against planning, I would be like, "okay, what am I gonna talk about today?" And I had a website for a long time with quite a few people on it for back in the day and a blog, and nobody ever knew who the heck I was or what I was trying to do because it was constantly changing.

Val Selby [00:04:42]:

It was just like the multiple personalities of Val. Who's Val today? You know? And that's not a dig on anybody with multiple personalities, so please don't take offense. It was I didn't know who I was, and I was changing constantly. I was changing for all sorts of various reasons. I didn't know who I was talking to or what I wanted to be when I grow up or even I wanted to be in that second.

Val Selby [00:05:06]:

So then I was like, "Okay, I'm talking about this. Okay, I'm talking about that. Okay, I'm talking about that." And talk about the confusion. No wonder why it didn't grow. I mean, there was just constant confusion going on of "what is this? What is this?" So now line I'm having all of this change happening, and I have this weird urge to be planning more. And it's weird. It's really, really weird.

Val Selby [00:05:42]:

It's weird to have the urge. It's weird to be wanting to go forward with it. I don't think I'm fighting it, but I keep bumping up against it going, "Okay, what is what is this gonna look like?" And there's so many reasons why. I mean, for one reason, I do have to be planning ahead, I have team now. Yay. I have a team now that helps me with here at the podcast. I have my assistant.

Val Selby [00:06:10]:

We are planning out way in advance for our events, we are already inviting and doing the events through the year, and I'm actually behind because I haven't gotten 2024's stuff planned out, right? That has to be planned out ahead. Now I have a social media manager. Yay. So that stuff gets planned ahead, which means that I'm going to need to be coordinating that stuff together, having my - actually, I'm gonna have my - I'm changing my words. I'm gonna have my assistant help me get things coordinated between all of it so that topics are coordinating. Coordinating is the big key here, and that's gonna take some planning, and I don't have to plan out a whole year. I don't feel all stuck in.

Val Selby [00:07:03]:

Okay. Well, I have to plan all of the content. Some of the events, those do need to be planned out for at least 6 months. I think I'm gonna leave it at at a 6 months out through 2024 for now and give myself room to grab something that sounds like fun. Like, "Oh, you know what? I've talked to 25 people, and this is a common theme. Let's run with it. I've got this month open. Let's go with it."

Val Selby [00:07:27]:

Give myself some room. You know? Are you scheduling the fun out of your business? I've done that in my entire body, just fights against it even though I've done it. Even though I'm the one that created the dang plan. I just - previously, I have fought against it. So that's why it's so weird that it's coming up now, and I'm saying, plan, plan, plan. So I'm bringing this up because that's a huge change for me, like a huge change for me. And I do bump up against it because there have been, you know, I'm aware I have control issues. It brings me back to when those control issues were really high, really unhealthy.

Val Selby [00:08:14]:

It brings me back to feeling at that time. So I'm working through those feelings because this is gonna be a positive planning, not the experience that previously was, but my brain is telling me, "Oh, God. Past experience. Oh, hell no, let's shut this shit down. We do not wanna be hurt anymore. We made that choice. We don't wanna be any hurt anymore. Shut it down."

Val Selby [00:08:37]:

And I don't have to go into that full mode of planning everything, you know? I don't have the kids here anymore. I don't have all of the events. I don't have the entire family stuff that all I had to get planned, that's what got me into that absolute planning every second mode because it just it was - looking back, it feels like it was survival. Things have changed in my business. They just have. Things have changed in my personal life. They just have.

Val Selby [00:09:06]:

Things have changed in your business, in your personal life, that is what happens every single day, every single day. So how are you changing and adapting? What are ways that you can change and adapt and be conscious of the fact that it's okay to change back into some of the things that you've previously done. Because now you get to go in the knowledge that you have now and not be so extreme, if that was your case, like mine previously, when things were not healthy. You get to come in with the knowledge and make the changes of you know what? Just because I did it that way and so extreme, I don't have to do it that way now. And maybe we can take some of the good parts because let's be real. Back then, it was survival mode, and I survived it. It worked. Parts of it were necessary.

Val Selby [00:10:10]:

Parts of it kept me sane or maybe the crazier that I am right now. I'm not sure, but parts of it kept my life flowing like it needed to. So not all of that was bad. So what if I get to kind of filter in some of the good and the bad and bring in the things that I want to and quickly get rid of the things that, well, nope, that's too much. Too much. We're going too far because I'm coming in cautiously. So changing and adapting in your biz. Let's talk a little bit about that.

Val Selby [00:10:52]:

How are you going to change and adapt in your biz? And I've got 3 little notes here because I wanna keep it nice and simple for you. First of all for changing and adapting in your biz and you can use this for life as well because same same. You need to know what's not working. You need to become aware of what's not working, and there's 2 really big ones, big ways for you to quickly see if something's not working. Number 1: checking your stats for your business. That's the quickest way. Quickest way to see if something is working or not working. Also the quickest way to take a look and see, oh, are you actually doing what you think you're doing, but that's a squirrel note. Stats. Your stats will help you - help tell you if something is working.

Val Selby [00:11:52]:

And that leads you down the whole thought process then of, "Okay, well, do I wanna keep doing it?" That helps you in the process because you can take a look at those hard facts and go, "Okay, I've been doing x for 3 months, it's not having a conversion. Change needs to happen." Other way, you know, the change needs to happen, you're not happy. You're just not happy, period. Endo. Endo.

Val Selby [00:12:30]:

You're not happy, and that's the hard one. That's the hard one because then of course you have to start paying attention to, okay, what am I not happy about? What in my business am I not happy about? What in my business am I happy about? And sometimes you have to start with that. Sometimes you can be in the muck so much. Believe me. Reach out. I know. I've been in the muck for months now, and I know exactly - I know I'm doing exactly what I want to be doing. I just know I'm not doing it The way I wanna be doing it quite yet, not quite there. That's where the planning's coming into play.

Val Selby [00:13:16]:

That's where I want to be sitting down and mapping it out. I'm meeting with somebody actually next week. I'm so excited. Freaking out. Freaking out. I found her. We're doing branding. I mean, we're doing all the messaging, and we're getting it all coordinated, and I'm so nerdy excited about it.

Val Selby [00:13:36]:

I just, yeah. I'm going to scroll on this one for a second. Because this is how collaborations work. I found her when I was looking for people to recruit for an event. Don't even know what event it was for. And because sometimes I do that when I'm having a glass of wine, so I don't know what event it was for, I found her and her messaging on her 2 websites. One was where I was coming to find her for the event, and then I followed through on her website and ended up on her branding and strategy and all of that kind of stuff. And I was like, "she was totally talking to me on there, right?" So I hit her up for the free, website audit.

Val Selby [00:14:21]:

And then when her stuff came back up, she gave me the most amazing free website audit information. I mean, it was absolutely amazing. Got me excited. Got me feeling like I could get on track, like, that quickly that quickly, opening up  the email and watching her quick little videos and knowing that she got me. But then I was looking at her prices, and I was like, "Oh my God. I can't. I just can't right now. I have to be fiscally responsible."

Val Selby [00:14:53]:

I had to put my big girl pants on and not jump in and go, "Okay. I'm gonna do this." And instead of just saying, "no, I can't do this," I just reached out and just had a conversation with her. And that honest conversation happened to be, like, a 3rd or a 4th conversation that she'd had in a similar thread, right? And she hit me up 2 days later, and she had created this whole new program. And that was totally in my marketing, it was - I could do that. Let's just go out. Let's just say it that way.

Val Selby [00:15:31]:

The because I reached out to her, though. Because I had almost just, like, went, don't even reply. Right? Which is rude. I would not do that. But that's what I felt like. I'm like, oh my god. It's so far out of my price range. I can't do it.

Val Selby [00:15:44]:

Oh, the the that was me. But I reached out, and I was just honest. I had honest conversation, and now we are going to go into a new relationship working together. I am so stinking excited. I'm so proud of myself for doing what I say and just having that conversation with somebody and doing what my friends and my, more lifestyle mentors have said not be attached to how the outcome is received, just that it's going to come to you, you know, whole manifestation thing. And that's what happened. You know? I would have never thought of somebody doing the little package stuff that she's totally changed up, and it's something I haven't ever heard of doing. And it's it's a beta program, and so here we go.

Val Selby [00:16:33]:

We're gonna go with it, and I'm so stinking excited. And that's helping me because there was parts that I haven't been happy about, and I did know what parts. You know? And I even told her in the free audit section when she was asking questions on the form, I was feeling disconnected, feeling really disconnected from my message. This whole change with me taking over the site on my own meant the message that was ours was not the message that is me. So I wasn't 100% feeling it. There's just a disconnect. And so having the conversation with her, I'm so excited. I'm so excited, but that's part of knowing that something wasn't working.

Val Selby [00:17:23]:

I wasn't happy. I wasn't happy. It was difficult to do some of the tasks in my business that are usually easy. And it felt like "a, oh God. What the hell am I gonna even write?" It was difficult because of that disconnect. So be aware of that. Be aware of that because that means that something needs to change. And once you're aware that you're not happy and especially if you can pinpoint some of the things you're not happy about, then you can start making those changes, which is number 2.

Val Selby [00:18:04]:

Now it's time to consciously make changes. And when we were talking in the Everything Content Summit, forgive me because I can't remember which summit presentation or who, unfortunately, but the conversation came up with changing one thing. Oh, you know what? It was Jen Perdew. NAMS.com. Jen Perdew because it was the last one in the summit because now I can picture her face saying it. She said if you change everything, then you don't know what part of the changes actually made the difference that worked. Right? And my part of the conversation with her was the fact that that is so hard, so hard. I admit I get impulsive and I admit sometimes my Irish pops out, and sometimes, I just wanna burn everything in the ground and start over.

Val Selby [00:19:08]:

And I'm aware of that, but even being aware of it, it's hard to fight. So it's hard to fight it. So paying attention to fixing or to changing, not necessarily fixing. I don't wanna use the word fix, to changing one thing and writing out that change for a little while. Now it's gonna depend on what the change is for how long you need to write it out. But if it's something stat related, you need to make the change and you need to go to that change at least 30 days, right? You're gonna have to track it for at least 30 days. Often we need to track stuff for 60 days, 90 days to truly see if it's working, if that one change is working.

Val Selby [00:19:58]:

Now this also goes for things that aren't making you happy. A lot of the times, not even a lot of times, I can track. I will be not happy, burn the bridge, pardon the site. Start over. There have been times in the past where I have just like, screw this, and I'll start a whole new site, you know, which is a whole nother thing. It's a self sabotage thing. Whole nother topic, believe me.

Val Selby [00:20:25]:

But that doesn't make me happy either because there's the whole idea of, okay, I just put all of that work into it, decided in a split second that I was over it, and I moved on. And that's not healthy either. So taking a look if you're not happy with your biz or, you know, take a look at what we just talked about in the first one. You know, what parts aren't making you happy? If you already have those popping up, what parts are making you unhappy? They might be things that you can just drop. Social media. Social media makes you unhappy, get control of it. Get control of it. Schedule through an outside source, so you don't even have to go to any of the social media accounts, so you're not seeing the other garbage in there.

Val Selby [00:21:22]:

That's a quick example, and it's also something quick that so many people talk about because social media can be so negative, and it doesn't help our mindset. So pick something and work on changing that. Now if you don't know what is making you unhappy in your biz, write down the things that do make you happy about your business and do please please please do not filter. Do not write it as if other people are going to be reading this. Write down the weird garbage that pops up that you like about your business and start there and do more of that. That can be the change. It doesn't necessarily mean that you have to focus on what you're gonna get rid of. It could be that you just focus on the things that you are liking that are making you happy and you do more of those.

Val Selby [00:22:21]:

That's one of the things when people are talking about a positive mindset, that's one of the things right there because you're focused on the things that are making you feel better. And when you do those things in your business, guess what happens? You get happier about your business. You do a little bit more. It comes out in your marketing. People are attracted to you. I should say, a new version of people are attracted to you versus if you're unhappy in your business and you're pulling in all of those people that are unhappy. You don't want those people. You don't want those people.

Val Selby [00:22:55]:

They're not gonna help boost your business. They're gonna keep you down, down where you are at. Anyway so don't try to fix everything at once. Consciously make a change so that you can pay attention if that change is making a difference. And let's see my 3rd note on this. Part of changing and adapting and especially if you know that you're not happy about something in your business or some things, could it be that you are just prioritizing the wrong thing? And, again, this has to do with grabbing that stuff that you enjoy doing and doing more of it. It does have a connection with that. I mean, we still need to do stuff that we don't care for because there's not a single one of us that loves every single piece of business.

Val Selby [00:23:46]:

It's just not. We're human. It's not our fault. We're human. But are you prioritizing correctly? Are you prioritizing? Totally talking business here. Are you prioritizing the things that are going to make you money? Or bring you money? Sometimes we get really bogged down with the free stuff and the training stuff and over delivering and adding more on our plate. And when we're over delivering constantly, our energy is just getting drained, and we don't usually have the energy to do the marketing like it should be.

Val Selby [00:24:25]:

I can tell you this from experience right this very second because that's been the case for the last few months. I have not been great at marketing. It has not been high enough on my priority list because I had so many different things going on and that feeling of constantly be being behind had me amped up trying to get that list done. Top of the list. Marketing and making money has to be the top of the list. And I can say that for sure because there's never a time, never a time ever, ever, ever that I'm not thinking about my clients or my customers. So they don't even actually have to be a priority, air quotes, because they're just always on my mind, and their best interest is always on my mind. But marketing and making money doesn't necessarily always end up at the top of my brain because I am a people pleaser.

Val Selby [00:25:32]:

I would like to say I'm a recovering people pleaser. I guess I technically am because I'm in recovery. I thought I was a lot further along in the process until I started reading a book I'm gonna talk about that next week. Till I started reading a book and realized that, "oh, shit. I haven't worked through people pleasing even a little smidge of what I need to be working through." But like I said, next week. Next week, I will be talking about the people pleasing. So make sure that you are prioritizing the right things.

Val Selby [00:26:06]:

It could be just that simple. Prioritizing the right things. Are you prioritizing making money? If we're not making money, it's a downward spiral. Total downward spiral. You know? We go right back into the not being happy, not liking things about our business. It goes into when you do that 1 marketing email that week, finally, you don't even wanna write it. Because you're like, why bother? I'm not making any money anyways. Been there.

Val Selby [00:26:42]:

So make it a priority. It is a business. You are the boss. It's your business. You need to make sure that everybody hears about it and knows about it and knows what you have to offer. Alright. I stayed on topic. Oh, look what notes do.

Val Selby [00:27:06]:

Anyways, next week, I've got a big one I will just lead into because maybe you wanna go read it before I even talk about it. I'm going to go do my walk now. Probably oh, gosh. I don't know. Maybe I think it's 84 degrees here. I think I'm still gonna go for my walk, and I will probabably - probababably? I will probably finish the book on my walk, I'm doing a audiobook for the first time ever. I am reading "The Mountain is You: Transforming Self Sabotage Into Self Mastery by Brianna Wiest." And it is absolutely talking to every part of my soul and cells and brain, and I'm gonna talk about it next week because I've already talked to you enough.

Val Selby [00:28:02]:

If you're into self sabotage, if you are a people pleaser, you're gonna wanna listen in because I got you. Alright. Alright. Go make some money. Go make some money, honey. Go be your boss. Talk to you next week.