Val Selby [00:00:06]:

Hey, this is Val Selby and after over 20 years online, I can track where my mindset has blocked me. If procrastination, impostor syndrome and a lack of focus have been blocking your biz, then Val Full Volume is here to help you see choices you are making. Get ready to use your expertise to collaborate like a pro as you create the business of your dreams. Now is the time to make changes and live your best life. Let's get to it!

Val Selby [00:00:37]:

Hello. I'm so glad you're here with me today. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. So I'm Val Selby of Val Full Volume and over here promoting my website Bundle Bash where we work on collaboration. I work on collaboration all day, every day, 24/7. I am thinking it, feeling it, breathing it. It's my zone of genius.

Val Selby [00:01:05]:

And, man, that was amazing to finally figure out. Because the more I was trying to figure out what my zone of genius was, the more I felt like an idiot who's like, you know, just like in The Big Leap, the book, where that zone of genius for me kinda came from. I mean, he's got parts in there talking about it. It's like, I just don't have one. It's like, whatever. And, you know, things just at least for me, maybe for you as well. The harder I'm looking for something, the harder it is to find it as far as mental stuff because I'm searching so hard, I want it so bad. Just give me the answers.

Val Selby [00:01:50]:

I just want the answers. Let's just go right to the end and give me the answers. And I don't wanna talk about zone of genius today. If you've been here, you know, just squirrel pops out at all times. But what I do wanna talk about is a lot of this new direction that I'm feeling we're gonna edge on down. It's still gonna be all collaboration. It's still gonna be entrepreneurs. It's all about mindset.

Val Selby [00:02:16]:

It's all about mindset. Life is about mindset. It is a 100% about mindset and how are we going to go through any of the shit, the bullshit, the garbage, the amazing stuff how are we gonna go through it? What's our choices? Even when there's horrible things going on and I'm talking in an adult sphere, okay. Even when there's horrible things going on, we have choices. And it was popping in my head. I actually have some podcast topics down, but I really wanted to well, you're an entrepreneur. When you get a little bit stuck, how often are you looking to remodel your house? So for me, my go to is always like, oh, I should do a site rebranding or I should do a this rebranding. That is my go to. I know it's a flag.

Val Selby [00:03:08]:

100% own it, know it. It is a flag. It's been a flag for years, and thankfully it's a flag that it pops up and I'm like, alright, so what's happening? What's going on? Because I know that, yes, there are times to do that. Absolutely. But I know when it pops up that I have to question. I have to ask myself what's going on. But I know I know I've been going through so much this year and if you've been listening again for a while, you know, there's been a huge journey that I've been on.

Val Selby [00:03:42]:

I mean, huge. So quick little story. I was just on vacation with my well, I was on vacation. My husband had a work trip. I was on vacation enjoying the room by the lake because somebody should enjoy that paid for room, right? So I was on vacation and when I was looking at places around the area, there was a lady who does massage therapy and also does oh, I'm not gonna pronounce the word right. Defy nation?

Val Selby [00:04:13]:

She does, you know, card readings and she uses the tuning fork when we're doing the massage and a whole bunch of other stuff. Just a whole bunch of stuff. But she's a psychic on top of it. And I'm like, oh, yeah. I want that to happen. That has to happen. But I worked on not being attached to it because I know if I get super attached lunch, then, I will just be disappointed. So I called and it was kinda last minute.

Val Selby [00:04:39]:

Of course, she's booked, right? And I was like, okay, well, I'm still gonna treat myself. I'm going to a pedicure. So I scheduled that, and I woke up the morning of my pedicure and, the lady is just like, I had a cancellation. Do you want it? I'm like, oh, hell yeah. Because are you telling me that there's a last minute cancellation on my last day that I am there.

Val Selby [00:05:04]:

Talk about meant to be, right? I am like, uh-huh, I have to be there now for sure have to be there. So canceled the other appointment, went to do that and I'm not skeptical. However, I have been to some psychics that were more crackpot than psychic. I think I've seen 3 or 4, specifically seen 3 or 4. And I go into it without adding a lot to the conversation. And even, like, I've been to a good one before, a decent one. I felt it was good, because like I said, I haven't been to that many before and even they were still asking a little bit of questions, this lady wasn't asking questions.

Val Selby [00:05:50]:

She wasn't asking questions. She asked how I wanted to do the reading. She had 4 different way and how we were gonna do the reading. And then I was expecting you know, I was gonna throw the coins, and I was expecting her to say you know, because she's saying, okay, well, I want you to think about the topics that you want, and then every time you throw them, you're gonna get a little bit more detail in your questions of what's going on, the knowledge that you want to know about this topic. And so she didn't say, do I ask it out loud or in my head? So then I asked her, I'm like, I'm just sitting here and thinking it in my head, right? She's like, I'm like, oh man. Because she doesn't know when I'm asking it, right?

Val Selby [00:06:30]:

Well, I mean, I'm not voicing it out loud and, everything that was coming up was so spot on. So spot on. And just to keep this part a little bit short, the major thing out of it is I have a major thing coming up. Obviously, that could be good. It could be not so good. It's just going to be, but it's going to be absolutely major. And she said that that's why right now I'm treading water. And I know this, right?

Val Selby [00:07:00]:

All of you that have been with me following me on my newsletter list. Bless you. Thank you. You have helped me immensely as I've been going through all of this but I've been treading water because so much has been going on that I knew making major decisions, it just it is a poor time to be making major decisions. But I know that I need to on some things, and I know something's coming up. I just know this. I decided I had to get my health in order. Like, it was, it was not like previous years where I've been like, oh, I need to be better.

Val Selby [00:07:34]:

I need to be healthier. It feels like this is a must. Like, I have to get healthier. And this was a 75 minute conversation with this lady actually is a little bit more because we kinda went into my massage appointment. Needless to say, of course, she and I hit it off, so we're talk, talk, talk. But there's that. There's the treading water, and this is why and and she said, yes. This is why you feel like you need to be doing this.

Val Selby [00:08:05]:

You know? And this is a lot into her doing the reading. Not me conversing with what I have a feeling of what she's talking about or my thoughts on what she's talking about, over half of this was just her telling me things, right. And picking out the things that she was feeling even stronger. And the breakthrough's coming. It's coming soon. She did have some feelings about what it could potentially be. Some of it's gonna be really yucky.

Val Selby [00:08:39]:

And the best thing that I got out of - not the best thing. There was a there was no one best thing. One of the amazing things that I got out of this is this was a woman that doesn't know me. I walked in. I just met her. I texted her a couple times. That was it. And my reading was about the fact that I'm going to be coming into my power.

Val Selby [00:09:01]:

And that power is specifically going to be needed in this breakthrough moment of what's coming up. Now I know and when I've worked with clients, I know that when we are using our power and don't worry. I'm not getting too woo woo on you. That we are in our power, that we're using our zone of genius, when we are doing what we know we need to do is when shit gets done and we're happy about it. We're like, this is what has to happen, and I'm the one that's going to make it happen because this is my life. And that leads me to a directional change. No. Like I said, I don't think it's a directional change.

Val Selby [00:09:50]:

I think this is what I've been talking about. Just a little subtext change. The truth doesn't hurt. The truth doesn't hurt. It doesn't. It doesn't. It doesn't. It doesn't.

Val Selby [00:10:03]:

Where the hell did that even come from? I feel like I need Google that right this second. That quote is not helpful for anything because nobody wants to hurt, right? Nobody wants to hurt and it makes some people that could be close to us kinda live that quote, right? Where they're like, well, I kinda knew that that might not be a good idea, but I didn't wanna hurt your feelings. Oh, blah blah blah. And I know that that is why so many people throughout my years have not wanted to possibly be around me, possibly work with me because of this whole concept that the truth hurts. Let's talk about the truth hurts. Let's - I even wrote down I even got a little post it note.

Val Selby [00:10:54]:

I wrote down 2 things of the bullshit of the truth hurts. Because the truth does not hurt. Ignoring the truth hurts like a son of a bitch. If you ignore the truth, then that means you're that means I believe me, I I I I was the queen of denial. I had a gorgeous yacht on the river denial for decades. I used to invite anybody over who wanted to live in denial with me. I was the queen. I absolutely loved, loved, loved denial. Because living in denial and ignoring the truth means you can just live in your little safe bubble of pretending. And it all comes crashing down.

Val Selby [00:11:43]:

It will. It absolutely comes crashing down at some point or another. So ignoring the truth hurts. Ignoring it. That means that you are not dealing. I'll give you all of my ways that I like to ignore the truth. When a Netflix binge is hitting me hard. I know I'm ignoring something. I am ignoring something.

Val Selby [00:12:07]:

I don't wanna do it. I'm putting it off. Why? That's when I have to really analyze why. Sometimes it can be that I've been on the computer for way too long, way too many days in a row and I do need to decompress, and then that's okay. But I have to pay attention. I have to pay attention to is that the truth that I need the downtime or do I not wanna go and create that new product that I know I need to and the deadline's tomorrow? Never have I ever. So I have to pay attention to that. What am I ignoring? I'm so much better at this because I went through the years of laughing.

Val Selby [00:12:54]:

That's that's my go to. Making jokes, that's my, that's my go to. As soon as I start making a lot of jokes a lot of times about something that I am doing, it starts sinking in that, oh, this is my method of avoidance. Here it is. It's not a red flag. It's kind of like a pinkish flag that starts popping up. That one takes me a little bit longer because I am a smartass. That one does take me a little bit longer.

Val Selby [00:13:23]:

But again, the truth doesn't hurt. Ignoring the truth does hurt, ignoring the fact that you need to make changes, that you know that these changes need to happen, that you're making yourself miserable doing the same thing over and over again. I had a past episode. Oh gosh. I cannot remember the past episode now. It might have been a little while ago now, but I talked about the fact that you could be in the wrong business. You could be, and it's okay to come to the terms. It's okay to realize that you are in the wrong business, wrong direction, it's important to notice because you don't wanna keep doing the same things over and over again just because you feel like you have to.

Val Selby [00:14:17]:

And I know changing direction in a business is hard. I've done it multiple times. And the work that you've put into it, it can feel like now you've wasted all those years. Like, you've wasted that time building this business, and now you don't even wanna do it anymore. Let me tell you from my experience and because I had to work through that, I totally had to work through that to get to right now where I am in my zone of genius. If I hadn't had those businesses before and put in that work and the heartache of failing and succeeding and what did not work and what I feel like I failed at, if I hadn't put that in, I wouldn't be right here right now doing what I'm doing because I wouldn't have figured out where my zone of genius is. So don't ignore the truth. Don't ignore the truth because it's gonna help you figure out other directions that you might wanna go.

Val Selby [00:15:28]:

And they don't have to be giant direction changes. There could just be little changes, and that leads me to my second one. The truth does not hurt, but choosing a path even though you know better hurts. Choosing to stay in a business that you know you don't wanna do anymore, that you know you're not passionate at all about, you know you don't give a fuck about, that hurts. Figuring it out doesn't hurt. Sticking in it, staying in it, that does hurt. Staying in a relationship that you know is unhealthy for you, that hurts. Figuring out the truth? The truth does not hurt.

Val Selby [00:16:20]:

The truth does not hurt. That's going to hi. Let's use another quote. That's gonna set you free. I'm not gonna go try and find much more. I promise. I promise I won't be trying to get all the cheesy quotes out. But for real, choosing a path that you know that you know you feel it in your gut isn't the right direction, that's what hurts.

Val Selby [00:16:49]:

That's what ends up being the wasteful time, and we don't have time for that. We have to pay attention to the signs. We have to go with our gut in a lot of ways because our brains, our brain is still telling our gut what we want as well. We're still gonna have that conversation rolling of, oh, but I really feel like doing this and our brains can be like, oh, but why? We're so safe right here. Let's just stay right here doing exactly what we've done forever and ever and ever where we're safe. Let's do that. That's where it's gonna hurt. That's where you're gonna wake up: 10 years down the road, 15 years down the road, 20 years down the road and go, shit.

Val Selby [00:17:33]:

I knew 20 years ago, I didn't wanna be doing this. I didn't wanna be doing that. And I still did it. That's what's gonna hurt is looking back on it. So I don't wanna get too deep. I know this is all probably getting a little bit deep right now, I understand because that's where I'm at right now. I am reading some really great self help books. I am not taking anything off the table right now in directions, but for once I'm also not jumping around the table.

Val Selby [00:18:07]:

I'm not jumping on top of the table, screaming, alright, I'm gonna switch directions and do this. I mean, everything that I am feeling right now as far as choosing directions is still in a similar lane. My focus, there's still a singular focus that I have of what I want to do and what I want to accomplish with Bundle Bash. It's just, I feel a little boxed in, and I'm not quite sure what that even means. I am completely just scrolling right now. No. It's not squirrels. I am just completely, like, having a brainstorm with you right now as if we were in a full conversation, but, you know, I get to talk to myself, so there's really no arguing.

Val Selby [00:18:54]:

So to bring it all back, I want you to pay attention to the fact that the truth does not hurt. The truth does not hurt. Paying attention to the truth, choosing to go more with your gut, map it out on paper. I mean, we can be a little bit more analytical about this for sure. It's something I have to pay attention to because I have had plenty of times where I just run with my gut, and then all of a sudden I'm going, oh my God, where the hell am I? You know? Like, what did I create and how do I fix this mess that I created for myself? So there does need to be a balance of Me map when I'm doing it, of me going, okay, this is what sounds amazing. This is what feels good.

Val Selby [00:19:45]:

I would like to do this. Okay. Well, let's make the pros and cons and see where the brainstorming goes with the pros and cons. It's not that I'm talking myself out of it. It's more of I'm talking myself into a focus so that I can get it accomplished, so I can do the change of direction for the tweak of direction. So hopefully some of this hit. Hopefully, some of this is helpful. I know even with my notes that I was a little bit blah, blah, blah, blah, here, there, here, there.

Val Selby [00:20:20]:

This happens when you come back from vacation, right? I have so much poppin' in my head right now, but the truth does not hurt. Let me leave you with this. The truth does not hurt. Ignoring the truth hurts and choosing a path even though you knew better, that also hurts. Okay? So it does come down to you know what's good for you. You do. You really, really do.

Val Selby [00:20:45]:

We've just been taught. We've never been taught to be adults. We were taught things as a kid. You can tell I'm going through so many self help books right now, right? So let me not go there. Reining in, Val. We only have the tools that we have, and that is okay. We can always get new tools, right?

Val Selby [00:21:04]:

Always get more tools. But you need to trust yourself. Trust yourself. You know what you want. You know how to go and get it. You have a lot more knowledge in you than you give yourself credit for and you can succeed at that goal of what you want, you can. And in fact, you're the only one that can. Some of us can come in and help you.

Val Selby [00:21:40]:

We can point you in the direction, but it's up to you. It's up to you to know what you want to do and to go after it and to go balls in, all in of making it happen. And I even come back on here and go, oh, yeah. Look what I did. I decided to have some truth and I made it happen. Check-in with me.

Val Selby [00:22:07]:

Alright. I'll talk to you next week. Have a great one.