Val Selby [00:00:06]:

Hey, this is Val Selby and after over 20 years online, I can track where my mindset has blocked me. If procrastination, impostor syndrome and a lack of focus have been blocking your biz, then Val Full Volume is here to help you see choices you are making. Get ready to use your expertise to collaborate like a pro as you create the business of your dreams. Now is the time to make changes and live your best life. Let's get to it! 

Val Selby [00:00:36]:

Hello. Hello. Hello. Oh my gosh. We have hit it. We are in December. Can you even believe it? We sent an email out a couple of weeks ago, and at the very beginning of the email, it's like, I don't even know if this year went fast or if it's been the longest year of my life. And that's so confusing even to me. That's just, like, so much. Just so much.

Val Selby [00:01:05]:

And I've been talking to you about it, and I don't wanna just, like, keep hashing that out. That's definitely not what we're going into today. What I want to talk to you about today is I want you to be taking a look at your December and being intentional. Being really intentional about what you want your December to look like. You know? Are you celebrating a holiday? There's lots of holidays, I think I read a social media post out there that there's, like, 14 different holidays that are going on here within, you know, like, a 6, 8 week span or something like that, that has me curious. That has me going and wanting to research and go, what are all the holidays? I love holidays. I don't care whose they are. I'll celebrate.

Val Selby [00:01:51]:

So if you're celebrating holidays, are you going to intentionally take time off? And even more than that, it's the end of the year. Most of us do a calendar year even even biz wise. I know if you've got kids in school, I was still mostly when the kids were in school, I was still mostly doing, like, the September felt like the new year for me. However, take a look. Do you feel like and need to take some time off? I was just talking through this with the master of my members. And previously, when the kids were in school, which the oldest graduated 10 years ago. Oh my God.

Val Selby [00:02:38]:

When they were in school, it was a natural progression to take off the 2 weeks that they were out of school at the end of the year. It just worked. Right? It's just like, why would I even bother? You know, we're all busy. We're traveling to different things. There's, you know, events going on. The kids wanna go do stuff with friends. Friends are coming over.

Val Selby [00:03:00]:

It just became really natural to go, you know what? Work's really not gonna happen during this time period, and especially that week after Christmas. What do we call it? The nowhereland week? The week we don't know, if we're coming or going, what day of the week it is, it's just that that free flow week between Christmas and New Year's. And that week had always become my offline and sit with my planner pages and dream and big dreams, visions, all of that just flowing out of me. It just was. So much changed after the kids moved out. A lot of stuff changed all at once. Massive change happened all at once. And so much changed that I didn't realize that I wasn't doing that.

Val Selby [00:03:55]:

Well, it wasn't natural. I had been forced previously to sit and do it because there's just no was no way I was gonna get much else done. So instead of driving myself insane, I'm just like, nope. This is how it is. It's cool. This is just the way we go it with it. And then I didn't do that anymore, and I got lost. And I got so, like, what do I even do now? When does that planning happen? I kept working.

Val Selby [00:04:20]:

You know? It's like no downtime, and that leads to burnout, the not taking the downtime, the not stepping away or, like I said, the stepping away and dreaming big, you know, ridiculous. The stuff that you're like, oh, your brain's telling you, oh, that can't happen. It's like putting all of that stuff down. And that's that's what I've already been doing. Like, before you even see this, I'm doing that right now. I'm going through my next 90 days, recording that new videos for that workshop, and sitting and dreaming because I don't want to wait until that last week. I can't wait. I couldn't wait until that last week.

Val Selby [00:05:01]:

That was too late for me at this time, which I'm so happy I recognize that that I need to do it right now. You know, one of the other things I was talking about 2 episodes ago now is that I did have to sit down and figure all of this out because I didn't have anything to celebrate. I didn't know where I was going. I didn't have my goals. It's really hard to celebrate if you don't know that you got there because you didn't know where you were going. Right? And I want you to be celebrating. So part of what I was, I was talking with the coaching clients and the masterminders was being intentional about taking the time off.

Val Selby [00:05:38]:

Yes, we could just let it happen. Like, we wake up in the morning and we're like, nah. Not today. But that's not what I'm talking about because that's letting our brains rule whether or not we're going to get things done. And for some of us that are procrastinators or just in a really shitty spot, that leads to today doing that. Okay, tomorrow, maybe doing that too because you're waking up and now you're giving yourself permission to not do what you said you were going to do. Just leads to shitty behaviors.

Val Selby [00:06:08]:

How do I know this? Because I fight this. And I've been fighting it. I've been telling you. I've been fighting this for weeks now of, I don't want to and and having to put my big girl panties on and doing it even though I don't want to. Because, technically, I do want to because I want the outcome. I want the goals, which is exactly why I'm sitting down, and I did my my next 90 days, I have that all figured out. So I have my goals that I'm working towards, my giant dreams, dreams that I call ridiculous because you're like, oh my God, what if? How? I don't even know how, and I'm not gonna worry about the how.

Val Selby [00:06:47]:

I'm just like, yeah. That goal's there, and let's see how it happens for this giant ridiculous goal. We're just gonna start easing towards it and then here it will be. Right? No. That's where I'm at right now. That is where I'm at right now. And let's just light bulb moment that that's probably one of the reasons why I've been so lost. I'm here at one of my major goals.

Val Selby [00:07:12]:

One of my goals that I have had for over 10 years. And, yeah, let's light bulb light bulb light bulb moment for Val. No wonder why I've been so goddamn lost is because I achieved it. I here. I'm here. I did it. This is what I've wanted, which means a plateau brain mush because holy shit, I'm doing it. And now I'm stuck in the daily doing it and that's not fun.

Val Selby [00:07:44]:

Just being stuck in the daily doing it is is not fun. It it works for a little bit, and then you're just, like, looking at it going, oh, no. No. No. No. No. Okay. Now what do we want? Now what do we wanna work towards? So take a look at that.

Val Selby [00:07:58]:

Is that potentially why you're sitting in the, in the doldrums, in the burnout feeling, and the I don't wanna is because you can now take a look at it and go, oh my God, 5 years ago, this absolutely was a goal, and I'm here. I did it. I achieved it. And have I celebrated that? I haven't celebrated enough. Like, I'm gonna get off of this, and I'm gonna go write journals and celebrate the hell out of this because that's just dawned on me that that's potentially, a a big, big thing is the fact that I'm here. I did it. Wow.

Val Selby [00:08:37]:

Holy shit. I did one of my major goals. That's awesome. So before I move a little bit on, if that's the case, please hit me up, email me, send me a contact form. I want to celebrate with you that holy crap. You just figured out that you hit one of your major goals. And you didn't even really kinda know that it had happened. And that's why I wanna celebrate with you.

Val Selby [00:09:08]:

I love I love celebrating. I love it. I will celebrate as if I achieved it with you, and not in taking ownership wise, just in that's that's I love it. It's so much fun to celebrate people's stuff. I love it. Okay. So back to what I originally wanna talk about, intentionally taking time off. It's not the waking up in the morning.

Val Selby [00:09:28]:

That's not intentionally taking time off. It's not the waking up in the morning and then deciding I don't wanna. That's not workable. That's bad habits. You know why I know this because Val does this. So that's not intentionally taking time off. Intentionally taking time off is looking at your schedule right this minute and well, like, goodness. I mean, for me, the last 2 weeks, you know, here in the US, we had Thanksgiving.

Val Selby [00:09:56]:

I knew that I was going over to my daughter's house. Our son was gonna be over there. We're a house full of dogs, house full of family. There's no way in the world that I am working from that Wednesday when we left to Monday when we came home. No way. Uh-uh. Not happening. I've pretended and tried to do that, but nope.

Val Selby [00:10:18]:

Not happening. So that's intentional time off. I took that off. Then again, it was my, stepfather in law's 80th birthday and the 1st birthday without my mother-in-law. So, of course, we dropped everything, and we went over there for 2 days to celebrate. You know, we didn't get to spend Thanksgiving with him, so we went over to to celebrate for his birthday. I'm not gonna work during that time. That's just not gonna happen.

Val Selby [00:10:42]:

That's intentional time off. That's looking at it and going, yeah. No. It's not gonna happen. We're just not even gonna pretend. I'm not gonna drive myself insane and have a to do list because that's all it will do is drive me bonkers. So intentional time off, same as I come into Christmas. I am looking at that week, the no man land no man's land, week between Christmas And New Year's.

Val Selby [00:11:07]:

And I haven't decided yet what's gonna go on in there, but I am going to be very intentional of you know what, okay. If if I am going to be working, what do I want to be doing? Do I wanna just be doing the regular daily work, or do I wanna set up some new plan to, like, create something or, you know, what do what do I even want? What do you want? What do you want those those times to look like? And then really pay attention, maybe once a quarter. I would suggest setting that up. Highly suggest it because I've got my next 90 day workshop. Highly suggest it because then sit down and go over your 90 days and, you know, see when you stay up. But maybe that's the time that you also fit set side time to be creative, create something new or revamp a workshop like we talked with Lauren about just the couple episodes of sitting down and revamping, and then that turns into a relaunch because you just revamped it with all of the new ideas that you brought to the table for that, just pay attention if you're going to intentionally take time off and then do it. Actually do it. Actually walk away.

Val Selby [00:12:21]:

Actually turn the PC off. Actually put the laptop away. Don't open the laptop. And the big one, don't be checking your emails from your damn phone. I know. I'm talking to myself entirely through this. Right? You would never do that. No.

Val Selby [00:12:35]:

That's what I found myself doing a few weeks ago when I decided to take the weekend off. I was like, okay. So no computer. No computer for Saturday and Sunday because my habits have gotten out of control. I'm like, okay. You have control over your habits. Stop it. So no computer.

Val Selby [00:12:51]:

And then I was obsessively checking my phone on that Saturday. Obsessively. Like, ridiculous. Like, refresh. Check again in 5 minutes. It's like, goodness gracious. Put it away. So I found myself doing it on Saturday.

Val Selby [00:13:09]:

So Sunday, I'm like, nope. Can't do that. Not going to do that. It has to go away. We have to have the absolute downtime. I have to step away from business. I have to. And I know I haven't been very good about it, so I'm being intentional.

Val Selby [00:13:26]:

And that's why I would love it if you sat down and got intentional and looked at your schedule. You know? What's your December gonna look like? What's your January gonna look like? You know, maybe with everything going on in your life in December, maybe maybe you need to look at your January. Maybe January needs to be some downtime. Nothing wrong with that. There is no wrong time to intentionally take the time off if you know that you are going to need it. And we usually do know when we're gonna need it. I know after after December and then the kids would go back to school, it was that 1st week in January, I'd be like, oh God. I'm gonna hit it.

Val Selby [00:14:02]:

The kids are back to school. I have all this time to myself, and I would be like, just washed out. Just no energy. And it was because there was so much going on in December that that 1st week. I'm just like, no. Let me just be. I just need to be. So, you know, look look at your previous years.

Val Selby [00:14:24]:

Is, you know, there any kind of pattern that, you know, you've tried to fight through and and set that intentional time that you're going to take off? Alright. Wow. There's only a few more episodes left for the year. A few more. That is crazy. Crazy that 2023 is almost done, and what a year it's been. And, yes, there's been a lot of yuck and a lot of weird, but like I said, I am doing exactly what I've always wanted to do. I'm doing it.

Val Selby [00:15:00]:

So how amazing has my 2023 been? Absolute roller coaster ride. Super duper highs, super duper lows. Don't wanna go through it again. Wouldn't wanna redo. I don't wanna redo. Let's move forward. But I have to remember those super duper highs along with the lows, and let's all celebrate more. So hit me up.

Val Selby [00:15:24]:

I wanna celebrate with you. I wanna hear what you have done. What have you achieved? What are you not even paying attention to that you achieved? Okay? Alright. I've got a guest for you next week, so stay tuned, and I'll chat at you later.