Val Selby [00:00:06]:
Hey, this is Val Selby and after over 20 years online, I can track where my mindset has blocked me. If procrastination, impostor syndrome and a lack of focus have been blocking your biz, then Val Full Volume is here to help you see choices you are making. Get ready to use your expertise to collaborate like a pro as you create the business of your dreams. Now is the time to make changes and live your best life. Let's get to it!   

Val Selby [00:00:36]:
Hello. Hello. Hello. I'm so glad you are here. I am ever closer to a 100 episodes. That's amazing. Pat myself on the back, pat my team on the back. Today was one of those days that I sat down to record. I need to record. I want to record. If you were present at the Spiritual Entrepreneur Expo, the summit sessions.

Val Selby [00:01:11]:
Thanks, Tina. I desire to record. That's rewording that I'm going to be working on except instead of need or any of that, it is something I do desire to do. But this week I'm recording live sessions. And there was a few things going on, but I haven't done any live sessions since I've taken over the website 100%. Just me. I've done live sessions before. I record. I do lives.

Val Selby [00:01:44]:
I do StreamYard. I mean, I do all of this. Right? But something about it just was like, wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. And I can't pinpoint it yet. I'm paying attention.

Val Selby [00:01:58]:
I'm not going to like get stuck on needing to pinpoint. But I'm already aware of a lot of things that have happened through this journey for this particular bundle. And so that's where we're going with this today, peoples. So first, it's really hard to record when you don't have energy. Right? It just is. And especially when you're like, oh, I gotta go fake energy. And I don't fake. I don't fake anything anymore, honestly. I mean, you guys have heard me.

Val Selby [00:02:30]:
You heard me. There's times I come in here and I'm like, I don't wanna, but I am gonna do this and we're just gonna muddle through. And thank you. Thank you for muddling through with me. But I do have more energy than that. It's just I - it's it's just that I'm, I am definitely becoming aware of my energy. And live recordings, 2 sessions in a row with some people present, it's energy zapping. It just is.

Val Selby [00:03:03]:
And I'm 51 now, and I can have less energy. It's a thing. It's a thing. It's nature. And so I'm really paying attention to that, which leads me to most of what my conversation is today, self sabotage, which leads me to the fact that technically I was supposed to record last week and I didn't. So that was my choice. Right? My choice. That means that, okay, well, I want this, I desire this set, this recording to go out, which means that low energy or not, I am making a choice to come in here.

Val Selby [00:03:49]:
And I don't feel as low energy as I expected, so that's fabulous. But the self sabotage, so part of it definitely is, I mean, there's the sabotage of I knew that this recording needed to happen. I had a deadline for it for last week, and I didn't do that. I chose that. I own that. Other things last week, I had old habits bubble, bubble back up. Now, of course, there's gonna be a ton of growth. Anytime I create a workshop, anytime I am going to run something live, recorded, any of that, at least, there's always the universe coming in and hey, let's test a little bit.

Val Selby [00:04:36]:
It's a thing. I don't know if it's a thing for everybody. I just I know it's a thing for me. I'm highly aware. I became aware of it when I first created my boundaries workshop back, gosh, that would have been 2018, 2019 when I created the workshop and I was going to run it for the first time. And old people that I had set major boundaries, like, boundaries, they were back. Other things were being tested. New stuff was being tested for my boundaries.

Val Selby [00:05:09]:
It's kinda like, hey, do you really mean that? Because here, we're going to test you and see if you actually mean that you do want that as a boundary. And not only that first time that I ran that workshop, but the second time I ran that workshop, the third time I ran that workshop, every time I ran that workshop, I had my boundaries tested. And yes, we can say it's because I was hyper aware because I was fully in it. Sure. We could, but we could also say, yeah, I think I was just being tested as being tested too. Are you going to put your own shit in order or are you going to do your old you and self sabotage? So I was feeling the self sabotage happening. And I have been hyper aware of all of my old flags and are these old flags popping up telling me, Hey, this is the right way to go. And you are owning this choice instead of allowing it to happen, which we know would, right? That allowing something to happen is also a choice.

Val Selby [00:06:14]:
Am I making the choice of doing this or am I falling back into old habits? And I'm really having to sit in that and analyze and it feels like so much analyzing because it's, like, every new step that I wanna do right now, which there's a lot. There's a lot going on. It's amazing and fun, and I can't wait for even more to come out in 2024. But there have been points where I know that I am - I have gone into my self sabotage mode. And one of those self sabotage modes was not communicating well with my team and staying up late and doing things on my own. And that means I fucked things up. To be one hundred percent fruitful and honest, it means that I went in and screwed up processes that are in place. I tested the processes, I guess.

Val Selby [00:07:17]:
I broke shit. I made things way more difficult than they had to. I procrastinated on some things. I created a chaos for myself, and I'm so glad that I'm talking to my husband so much more about it because I was able to own it. I immediately came to the team and and owned up that, yeah, hey, this was horrible. And all of this stuff here that I did, I apologize. It's on me. I take ownership of it, and I'm putting some new stuff in place so that that doesn't happen and smacking my own hands when I think that I'm gonna go do something last minute.

Val Selby [00:07:55]:
I'm past things that can be done last minute in events. That ship sailed. That ship sailed. The events are too big. Nope. No Nova. Don't do that. That is recipe for disaster.

Val Selby [00:08:13]:
That is 100% self sabotage. So the great thing about recognizing it, of course, because, yeah, I recognized it, and I recognized it a lot quicker this time. Like, the flags came up and, yes, they are already happened. But I just went back into old me of I'm gonna control everything. Oh, there it is right there. I went into old me of this is the only thing I need to control. So I'm gonna put that in the back of my brain because it probably has nothing to do with work. What do I feel like I don't have control of right now? Don't you just love to listen to my session? I just have my session with myself right here.

Val Selby [00:08:52]:
Follow along. Follow along. But I knew there's old habits that came back up. I recognized it really quickly after it was happening. This is not something that I went, like, days later or this week versus I did this stuff last week. This was - I just did that, and I just caused my own problem and a lot more work. And why did I do that? And part of that why right now, I'm telling myself I don't have to have why. I can just look at it and go, okay, you did this.

Val Selby [00:09:29]:
You don't wanna do this anymore. Let's work on not doing that anymore. I don't need to know why I do it. I don't need to know why I self sabotage. I just - I don't. I don't wanna analyze that anymore. I don't wanna dissect it. It's exhausting.

Val Selby [00:09:46]:
Instead, I'm gonna focus on, okay, how do I change that? How do I change that behavior so that I don't do an all nighter and create stuff that's not connected correctly? Man, can you oh, gosh. Can't even imagine. My poor, my poor assistant. I know you're making the transcript listening to this. I hope you're giggling. I hope you're giggling about it. But I'm highly aware that those came back up. I'm also being aware of the fact that when those come back up, it's usually a growth period.

Val Selby [00:10:23]:
Right? So I need to hold on. I need to just hold on. I need to stick to what I know is working and hold on for this next up level. I think that that's what's going on. It's to up level. So when I start to uplevel and I'm only gonna talk about me. I mean, I have witnessed this with clients as well, but I'm really gonna talk just from me because I'm - I can feel what is inside of me when it's happening. So it's that scariness of going out side your comfort zone.

Val Selby [00:10:58]:
Right? You're gonna step up. You're going to add maybe something new. You know that you're getting close to adding something new, adding something big, that something big is coming, something that I've been working for. I know this. I don't know exactly what it is. I have some ideas, but that makes me want to just like run back into my comfy hobbit hole, right? Where it's nice and comfy, lots of blankets, and put the blanket over my head and Netflix will be on 24/7. And we're just gonna ignore that the change is coming that we really want it because it's gonna still be scary because it's gonna be different. Instead of just taking a nice deep breath and realizing, okay, this is happening. You're human, girl.

Val Selby [00:11:46]:
You are human. You're gonna get what you've been working for, what you desire. Thank you, Tina. What you desire, it's going to be coming and yes, it's going to be different. And we're going to embrace that different when it happens. And there's also, I mean, there's just there's a lot going on. We're just we're getting really close to another major transition in our life with him retiring and oh my gosh. Less than 2 years now.

Val Selby [00:12:18]:
Under 2 years. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. And so there's a lot of change.

Val Selby [00:12:23]:
We've got big trips coming up. We're gonna figure out where we're going for retirement. My business is doing exactly what I love. I love, love, love what I'm doing right now. And sometimes all of that good is scary as well. It's like, oh my gosh, I'm living it. You know, old me 10 years ago, she couldn't even imagine all of this because it's so good right now. And like, you know, like I said, old me couldn't even come up with all of the great stuff that I've had.

Val Selby [00:12:57]:
I couldn't even have dreamed of where I'd be right now. Some of it. Yes. Absolutely. Some of it. There's other stuff that thankfully when I did start letting go and just going after dream, not worrying about process of how some of it's gonna happen so much, it led to bigger and better. Because our brains only know what our brains know. So, yeah, I keep having to do deep breaths.

Val Selby [00:13:24]:
That's how you know my energy is low. And then I know my energy is low. Keep needing to do the deep breaths, be present, be here. One really good thing that happened for sure as I screwed stuff up last week was I put some more processes in place. So the - would that be tactile? The processes that I put in place, they were I'm surely things that should have been happening already or yeah, they should have been stuff that was on there already and I just hadn't. So that was great. That was really great because one of the major things was a team debrief. And that was just like, I'd never done a team debrief unless I've been with a client.

Val Selby [00:14:09]:
I just wasn't even a thought in my head. So adding that in there, adding the what could we do better? What do you feel went good? Adding all of the debrief stuff in, that is fabulous. Going through now and figuring out I went through - so we've had, I've had the - I use Asana for organizing the events, and I have had to the system, the major part of the system, I have had that for the entire time that Bundle Bash has been going. Because what we did was, I we took my Trello, and we moved it into Asana and made it work for outsourcing in the Asana, but it was already very similar. It was exactly what I had already been doing with clients for so long. That said, previously, every time I would open that Trello back in the day when I had a new client, that thing was getting updated. There was new processes going in there. There was always new stuff that I had learned.

Val Selby [00:15:10]:
And with running Bundle Bash and having events every single month, I haven't been taking the time to sit down and go, oh, okay. This is here. It's like, no, these cards are here. Are they serving us anymore? I need to take a look at that because no two events are ever the same for multiple reasons. I mean, just multiple reasons. Right? This isn't - I'm not gonna go down that rabbit hole today. But no two events are ever the same. And so every time an event has a change in it, it can bring a change in the process. And then I need to take a look.

Val Selby [00:15:46]:
Okay, is this something that we add to the general process? Or was this kind of just something that happened once, maybe down the road, it'll happen again, I desire to sit and pay attention to that. And then I did take the time also to sit down and go through the entire template that I create every month for the new events when they're gonna be announced. And I sat and went through every single card and it blew my mind because I'm sitting there and I'm like, I really do not remember the last time that I sat there and went through every single card, especially on that template. Like on the event itself, I don't go through every card anymore. And there was so much useless information on there and old information and I just - I realized I got to a point where you know, it was like, the new year is here for both Western society and for Chinese New Year happened too. And it's like, oh my gosh, this needs to be part of the purge, part of the the redo. And it wasn't purged. It's just, this all needs to be gone through.

Val Selby [00:16:53]:
And so that felt great. That felt great as well. So good stuff happened with my self sabotage that popped up. Going through processes is always a good thing. Paying attention to what's working, not working, debriefing. And now other events will be so much better. And I'm gonna run this event again next year. So the beautiful thing is, is like, okay, things that I screwed up, nobody really knows about it except for me and the team.

Val Selby [00:17:24]:
It's not gonna be really totally seen out there. But the things that I screwed up that I feel like I did not do as well as I would like, Those are things that can be totally written into next year's. Totally figured out. Set up ahead of time. So yes, I have the self sabotage happen. Yes. There's growth coming in and yes, I paid attention and I found some lessons in it. So I'm looking forward to some better organization again.

Val Selby [00:18:00]:
Okay. So let's leave you with this. I would like you to take a look at where do you sabotage? We all have places that we do it. If you work in, you might not have so many anymore, but you still have the same flags. So like for me, I have control issues. So as soon as I start feeling hectic and swirly and, oh my god, I'm just gonna control everything. That's one thing there. And, obviously, last week, I was feeling like to control everything.

Val Selby [00:18:32]:
That means I just need to go and make it mine and break it. That was a new one. That was a new one. Same red flag, but that was a new outcome of that what happened. I don't like that one. Oh, you're just gonna do that one lesson there, I hope. Learn that lesson right there, and let's not do that one again. That was ridiculous.

Val Selby [00:18:53]:
But there's the other flags that I have of procrastination and ignoring, which is pretty much just denial that the things have to happen and and I'm the one that's supposed to do it. And it's the opposite of being in full control. Isn't it? Isn't it the opposite? Yeah. Human brain. So take a look. What are your red flags? Where do you see yourself self sabotaging? Where do you see that happening? And just be aware, even if you're not gonna change something right now, just be aware. Be aware that it's happening. Because once we're aware, we can't become unaware. It's just not possible.

Val Selby [00:19:36]:
So start being aware, look at your red flags, look at the things that you're procrastinating on and not finishing. And it's you're missing deadlines because of it. You know, it doesn't matter if it's your deadline or somebody else's. Doesn't matter. Deadlines should be deadlines. Our deadlines. Dead line. This is the dead line.

Val Selby [00:19:56]:
You don't cross this. But some of us get a little wishy washy on those when we set them for our sales. I mean, not that I'm talking from experience or nothing. Anyways, alright, you guys. I appreciate you being here so much. Like I said, we are getting close here at Val Full Volume to Episode 100, and I guess I better start figuring out. What am I gonna do to celebrate episode 100? I don't know. I'm gonna start playing that fun what if.

Val Selby [00:20:26]:
So thanks for being here. I appreciate you. And we'll chat next week.