Val Selby [00:00:06]:
Hey, this is Val Selby and after over 20 years online, I can track where my mindset has blocked me. If procrastination, impostor syndrome and a lack of focus have been blocking your biz, then Val Full Volume is here to help you see choices you are making. Get ready to use your expertise to collaborate like a pro as you create the business of your dreams. Now is the time to make changes and live your best life. Let's get to it!    

Val Selby [00:00:36]:
Hello. Welcome to another week with me, Val. I am so happy that you're here. I am excited to see where this one goes. It's gonna pop out of my mouth. It's just as big of a surprise sometimes for me as it is for you. So let's go there. I want to talk about who you need to be. Yeah. That felt a little ominous, didn't it? It's like, no, not what I think you need to be.

Val Selby [00:01:10]:
Not what your spouse or significant other thinks you need to be. Not what your kids think you need to be. Sure as shit, not what your parents think you need to be. Who do you need to be?

Val Selby [00:01:25]:
It's a tough one. It's a tough one. So let's kinda just like roll right through it. Let's hold hands and walk through this. So why does this even matter? Like, what the hell, Val? So this matters because I want you to be taking a look at your goals. We are already - we're in the Q2. We are through what we should be. We're in the Q2 for 2024. Okay.

Val Selby [00:01:56]:
We're in it. Somewhere in it. And how are your goals going? How does it look for hitting your goals at the end of the year that you were so gung ho about in December January? Are those excitingly coming close and you're hitting benchmarks? Or are they like, oh my god, I'm not even on the same road as my goals. Like that path over there in the other state, that's the path for my goals right there, and I'm over here. I don't even know what's going on. So that's where it comes into play with usually, I like to use myself as an example. Usually, I can take a look at my to do lists and be like, oh, my god. What am I pushing off every single day? I'm sure it's something that's why my goals path is way over there and I ain't even near close and there's no cutoff to get over there at this time.

Val Selby [00:02:57]:
Because my to do list is like, not even correlating with what I actually want to accomplish. And a lot of the times for me, I mean, I've told you, I've been working through anxiety, coming to terms with how much anxiety I've surely had all my life, coming to terms, I do say, because, yeah, I still still am like, oh, whatever. Squirrel. But taking a look at it and knowing that it's like, okay, I have to force myself to do things quite often, unfortunately. It's getting better, but still quite often I have to force myself because there's a lot of times where I just have major cases of the I don't want us. And it's not even, why am I doing this? What's the use? It's just legit. I don't wanna. Some days I just don't feel good. Some days I feel great. And I'm like, oh, I have this energy.

Val Selby [00:03:58]:
I wanna go do something else. I have a human brain and my human brain is not working with me at all times at this time. I'm trying to figure out this new human brain that I have attached into my head. But looking at my goals and who I need to be is changing that for me on any given day because I do want to be somebody that actually works out again. I'll use this as an extreme example. This is hard. This is a valid truth. I had the privilege of being able to go do a full body scan, a life scan.

Val Selby [00:04:43]:
So they - this is hard. I had the chance to go and do that and that was wonderful. It was really difficult for me to get in there, but the people that were doing it were so wonderful. So had a complete blood workup and talk to the PA for over an hour. I mean, it just so much time. You just get all this time to talk with these people. All my organs were scanned, and I did a EKG cardio test. And I told the two of them that because it was the exercise science guy and then the PA, those were 2 different areas that I went into.

Val Selby [00:05:19]:
And when I was talking to the PA, she was, I just felt so comfortable with her. And I told her, I said, I don't know if this is rock bottom or what. I said, but I've always been an athlete. I was a personal trainer. I was a coach, track and field coach, and I never ever would have thought that I would be here and worried about taking a cardio test. Never in my life ever would I have ever thought that a cardio test would be the thing giving me some anxiety because I'm like, can I even do the test? I do not even know. And so we talked about it for a little bit and it was wonderful and she was really great because she's like, you know what? It could be rock bottom and it could help you, or it could just be right now. And I was like, oh my gosh, can I just take her with me everywhere? I want her to be my real PA even though I love my new PA.

Val Selby [00:06:18]:
I'm like, I just want her. I just wanted her to be with me because it felt so nice to admit that and it's scary shit to admit to you guys. It's hard. It is hard. We have a lot of changes that happen, and all of a sudden we're not doing the things that we always used to do and that were easy. And so where am I going with the I am on that or not the I am the the who do I need to be with that? I'm going into the fact that there are times - every day is a time. I do not have any motivation whatsoever to do any workouts anymore. Like today, I got my ass out of the chair and I walked into town because we live in town and I had to go to the bank in the post office and the sun's out.

Val Selby [00:06:58]:
So I'm like, Yeah, no, you're not getting in the car. You're walking the - it's a mile round trip on a hard day. And I have to still be like, okay, we're just gonna do this, and we're gonna do that today. And that's a big part of this. Who do I need to be? Because I want my health to improve. I do want to be into physical fitness again. I do want it to be enjoyable again. Like it used to be for so long.

Val Selby [00:07:29]:
I do want it to be a major part of my life. And for that to happen, I have to keep telling myself, I am someone who does the workouts. Who do I have to be? I have to be somebody who actually goes and does it. That's who I have to be. So in my business, who do I have to be to hit my goals? For one thing, I have to be somebody who embraces her expertise and doesn't hide it. I have to be confident in my expertise. And I have to be confident that I want everyone to hear what I have to say. That's who part of who I have to be to hit my goals.

Val Selby [00:08:21]:
I have to be somebody who pushes through the anxiety and does the podcast interviews, does the summit interviews, does any of the stuff that sometimes my brain is just like, oh gosh. Yeah. You've got your makeup and your hair done, and it's 5 minutes till. We can just cancel. We can just cancel. Let's just cancel. Let's just cancel. And I have to remember that every time I don't cancel, I'm exactly where I am supposed to be in connecting with exactly who I'm supposed to be connecting with. So I have to be somebody who tells anxiety.

Val Selby [00:08:57]:
No, not today. Not today. Today, I am going to be a person who just does it. So who do you have to be to hit your goals? You know, that's just one way of who do I have to be? I like to pay attention and even get a visual of, like, I hit my goals. What does that even look like? Who's with me? What are we doing? Where am I at? Is anybody with me? They don't have to be. Right? I could be by myself. Where am I at? What trips am I going on? All of that stuff helps with the goal because it's the vision. It's the vision of that life that you're going to create as you create that goal.

Val Selby [00:09:44]:
As you create your business. I've got, I've got - I don't even know where this, like, visual came from for me hitting my $1,000,000 gross a year goal. I have this goal. I'm okay with it. It's a big scary goal. And I had it before Queen of the South. Do you, has anybody have you seen Queen of the South? I absolutely love that show. I'm tempted to rewatch it.

Val Selby [00:10:13]:
The fact I love it so much. But in that show, when she has made it and she is like top dog, she is in this all white suit. And even before that show came on, I don't know why, but that vision of the woman in the all white suit, that was the vision that I had. And I can't even pinpoint why I have that. And especially knowing me, it's like, I'd have to stand still in one spot, and I'd probably still get my white suit dirty. Right? 

Val Selby [00:10:44]:
It's like, it's like there's just no way I can't even wear a white t-shirt for more than 5 seconds without staining it. So it's super funny that that is, like, the the visualization I have. And then it was in that show, and I was just like, oh my gosh. And it's so crazy because now I see that white suit and a strong woman in a white suit in so many different places recently. And so now I'm aware of it. Now I'm, like, looking for it. Now I'm paying attention because the more I see it, the more excited I get. I'm like, here we go.

Val Selby [00:11:19]:
We're going on our goals. Look at that. There's your sign. I know I'm going to the woo. Go into the woo woo world. Even to the point where I got a new wine, and it was because it was a woman in in this, like, really awesome looking white suit and that was on the bottle. It's even gotten to that point. I'm like, okay, we're just gonna embrace this because I do not know why, I do not care why.

Val Selby [00:11:43]:
But to me, my goals, that's the vision of my goals is me in that white suit, sunglasses, just fricking owning it. Right? Going to whatever speaking engagement, going to my retreat, wherever I am going to go and talk and connect with people. That's the silly vision I have. So if you ever find me in a white suit, man. Believe me, when I hit my goals, that white suit's happening. I don't know. Ruin it.

Val Selby [00:12:11]:
Whatever. I always - my husband always likes to laugh at me because we'll it'll be spaghetti, and we don't have spaghetti all that often. And I looked down. I'm like, goddamn it. I'm wearing a white shirt. I don't usually wear white, but if we're gonna have spaghetti, I'm a - you better believe I'm wearing a white shirt. Anyways. La la la.

Val Selby [00:12:31]:
Anyways, those are the visions and I have to pay attention to those visions. And the more that I'm like able to see and feel what that goal is going to be, the more I want to achieve it. And it means that I have to change what I'm doing. Because I can't hit those goals if I just stay in same old Val mode. I have to be in Val as growing mode. Lord knows we've Val's been in the growing mode now for the last 2 years, but especially the last 6 months. Right? Lord knows. So I have to be constantly reevaluating and going, okay, how can I be a little bit better today? I'm working on not beating myself up, and I think I'm doing a pretty good job of that now.

Val Selby [00:13:25]:
I'm not beating myself up, but what can I do to improve today? Like today, I would - I went - I took the walk instead of getting in the car. It's literally the same amount of time for me to get in the car, open up the garage, drive down there. I mean, in that process there, I'd probably be half halfway into town already when I'm walking. Right? So that helps me a lot for that, for getting off my butt. If I have to go do errands downtown, it's like, you have to walk. You honestly have to. It's ridiculous to drive down there unless you're going out of town. But I also have to pay attention to my list and what's on my list, and what do I need to take off my list? Because who do I want to be today? And when I'm looking at my to do list is, does this help me with my goals and who I need to be today? Who I want to be today to get one more step to my goals? Or is there stuff on here that can just leave, go bye bye? Or is there stuff on here that maybe I can find somebody else to do? Believe me, that's a different change as well.

Val Selby [00:14:37]:
The outsourcing. That is a very big change and it's a wonderful change, but still every time I come up with something else that I'm like, you know what? Maybe I should have my assistant do this as well. It's kind of like my brain still wants to fight it a little bit. It's like, can we do that? Can, can we pass off that? I guess I could literally pass off everything. I could. I don't want to, of course. There's fun stuff. I wanna do the fun stuff.

Val Selby [00:15:05]:
And I do the not so fun stuff too.

Val Selby [00:15:07]:
But who do I have to be? And in that case, I have to be the CEO of my company. When I'm looking at my list and realize that realizing that I am doing menial tasks, then I have to pay attention and I have to become the CEO of my company and outsource, give it to somebody else because it's not the best use of my time. It's not going to get me to my goals as fast as I would like by doing the menial tasks. It is usually me hiding from something. Right? It's, we are working, we're working. Look at, look at me working. So who do you have to be to hit your goals? And how scary does that make you feel? Scary, does that make you feel? Scared, does that make you feel? Because I know the person that I have to be to hit my goals is going to piss off. Is it upset? I shouldn't say pissed off.

Val Selby [00:16:13]:
I don't have anybody in my life that would piss off anymore. It's going to upset people because it's going to cause a disruption in their beliefs. I know this for a fact. It will. Their minds will explode. Because then they're gonna have to deal with the fact that, oh, shit, but people with money are bad and wait, but I love you and you have money and you're not bad. So that's how their mind will explode. That's my plan.

Val Selby [00:16:42]:
Part of my plan is making their minds explode in that way. Yep. Because I'm tired of hearing the stereotypes, and I didn't realize how much I grew up with it until just recently. So I know I have to be somebody who's going to be okay with that. I have to be okay with making other people uncomfortable. It's not on me. They're uncomfortable with their ideas. I'm going to be comfortable with my ideas, but know that it's gonna cause some friction.

Val Selby [00:17:12]:
So I have to own it. Because as soon as I can own it, then I can talk about it when it pops up for them. I can be aware that it's gonna pop up and be I don't wanna say I'm waiting for it. I kinda am right now. But just knowing that's probably going to be the case. So we just know what's gonna happen and who do I have to be okay with that? I have to base a confident CEO in my company. Right? It really does boil down to that so much of, we just have to be confident in what we're delivering and what we're doing. And yes, that means making money. And no, I don't have a problem with it.

Val Selby [00:17:49]:
And if you do, we can talk about it if you want, but it's not my problem. It's your, it's a you-problem. So who do you have to be? Who do you get to be? Who do you want to become? What kind of you will get to those goals? And I'm not saying fake it till you make it kind of thing. I am saying, do you need to get coaching? Do you need a certain book? Do you need a workshop? Who do - what do you need to help you become the person that hits those goals? I'm gonna leave it at that. But you can always hit me up. I'd be happy to chat it out with you. Alrighty. I want you to be you and I want you to elevate.

Val Selby [00:18:47]:
Be an even better y'all. Be a better you today. Don't wait until tomorrow. Be a better you today. How can you be a better you today? All right. I'll chat at you next week. Thanks for being here.