Val Selby [00:00:06]:
Hey, this is Val Selby and after over 20 years online, I can track where my mindset has blocked me. If procrastination, impostor syndrome and a lack of focus have been blocking your biz, then Val Full Volume is here to help you see choices you are making. Get ready to use your expertise to collaborate like a pro as you create the business of your dreams. Now is the time to make changes and live your best life. Let's get to it! 

Val Selby [00:00:36]:
Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Thank you for being here. I'm so excited to talk atcha again. Talk at you. So speaking of talking at you, if you ever have anything that's just, like, totally bubbling or popping up, please fill out the contact form, reach out. I'd love to connect even more, maybe talk about it on the podcast, maybe interview you on the podcast. We can have a chat.

Val Selby [00:01:05]:
I'm open to a chat, but I always want to make sure that I'm letting you know that I am here and that's why I share. And today we're going to go into intuition even more for your biz, because when I put out the podcast two weeks ago and talked about the intuition a little bit from I think it was Episode 101. That got some feedback on my newsletter list from people that felt like they were very similar in the fact that they have not trusted their gut. And because of that, I'm like, I think that we should probably chat a little bit more about that. So if this is an issue with you, for you, I would love it if you just reach out and maybe even do a free coaching, record it, put it on the podcast if you're open. I would love to do that. That would be so much fun. But even if you just wanna get on and we're gonna talk about it, hit me up, please.

Val Selby [00:02:11]:
So intuition in our biz. Why is it the last place that we let our intuition rule? Isn't that crazy? So, especially if you're a midlife woman. Are you? Especially if you've been a mom, but speaking from my experience as an empty nester and as a mid midlife woman now, I have embraced going with my gut in my personal life for so long. Because we all know in our personal life, if we don't go with our gut, something goes wrong. Right? And why has that not led to me changing with my biz sooner? It's weird. It is really, really weird. So I'm gonna delve into that because I do have ideas. I know that's weird too. Right? Like I have ideas and opinions.

Val Selby [00:03:17]:
Yeah. All right. Like what's Val's opinion gonna be today? But it's just it's kind of even as I'm working through it and thinking through it myself, I'm like, it's weird. It's really weird that I have this spot that I haven't trusted myself and my gut instinct for so long as if I don't have the right answers. So let's just get that out of the way right now. You do. I do have the right answers for my biz. You have the right answers for your biz.

Val Selby [00:03:57]:
You are the only one that has the right answers for your biz. Yes, we do need coaches and mentors to help us get that out because we're so close to it that it's tough. Right? It's easy to get in the weeds and having a coach, a mentor, some expert help you through parts, 100% believe in that. Right? I told you. I'm jumping in with a new coach, and I'm super excited about that, and I'm super excited for a very different reason. I have been 100% real with her. And I know in the past that hasn't been the case because I didn't know.

Val Selby [00:04:38]:
I wasn't aware of what I wanted, and I'm in a different place right now where I know exactly what I want. And I just need guidance to get it out. I was joking with a friend who I was gonna do some coaching with, and it just didn't work out, but I was joking with her about the fact that what I was really looking for was somebody like me to pull the information out. I really just wanted a clone of me to coach me, like I coach other people. And I know whatever that might sound narcissistic. I don't know. But that's what I was looking for. So I had to sit with that because and I was, like, laughing because, I mean, I was joking about it, but it was true.

Val Selby [00:05:20]:
Right? And I knew it was true. So I'm sitting there. I'm just like, okay. This is not a joke. This is I'm really wanting something, somebody, a coach, a mentor to come in who's going to be more blunt, who's going to pull the information out from me and not feed me information. I'm done being fed information. I'm done being told what to do. I want somebody who is behind me or, no, I don't want them behind me.

Val Selby [00:05:57]:
Sorry. I want them next to me, holding my hand, saying here we go. This is gonna be icky. You're gonna get in the mud. It's gonna be icky and with you, and we're gonna go to the other side. That's what I want. That's what I want. And that's what I found.

Val Selby [00:06:12]:
So that's a big reason why I'm super excited. I have Beatty's going to be coaching with me, and we are going to be working on what I want. And I can pull her expertise in different areas. Right? But I know I'm going into this fully owning that I'm going to create what I want. And part of that is because of my trust in her, and I know that that's what she wants because we I was a 100% open with her about everything and what I wanna create and the crazy goals that I have that I don't tell a whole ton of people. And the only way that I can get somebody to help me in the way that I want them to help me is by telling them those crazy goals. You have to tell your coach those crazy goals. Because for one, once you put them out there, they're out there in the universe, and that is amazing and wonderful because you have to ask for what you want.

Val Selby [00:07:17]:
But for two, if you aren't telling your amazing crazy scary goals to them, then they only have the information that you gave them. So there's different ways to scale for different goals. Right? It just is, there's much different scale for getting $10,000 versus getting $1,000,000, okay? So you have to be honest, and that was not about an intuition whatsoever, is it? Except for a kind it is, because that was part of the process was, like, I knew when I was having the conversation with her, I'm like, okay, I have to work with her. I have to. Not I have to. I will. I will. I know this is the right person to be working with.

Val Selby [00:08:06]:
My intuition told me that this was gonna happen. I didn't know prices at the point, and I was quite worried about that because I was just like, okay. Let's not worry about that. We can figure out payments. We can figure out money. Money is money, and we will figure it out once we get to know what she believes would be the best course for us working together, and it did. And that's because I went with my gut. I'm like, I am going into this totally open 100%.

Val Selby [00:08:36]:
I want to work with this person. I'm going to be 100% open, and I'm working with somebody who is intuitive. And that's just feels so wonderful because somebody else who's intuitive realizes that you're intuitive, that you know what you want. Which leads me back to - you do know what you want. But sometimes it's really, really scary to own it. It's like, oh gosh, this is a big goal. Do I deserve this? Nobody in my family's earned this much money. Oh my gosh, what's gonna happen when I - what if this blows up and then I've got a lot of money and then my family's gonna think this of me, which you don't know for sure.

Val Selby [00:09:28]:
I mean, we kind of know our family, so we kind of know what they're thinking a little bit, but you don't know for sure what anybody's thinking because we're not in their heads, just like they're not in our heads. And all of that scariness goes bubbling up, and all of a sudden we're just like, okay. I'm not gonna trust myself because then you go down the rabbit hole of I'm not gonna I'm not gonna trust my intuition, who the hell am I to know what think that I know what I'm doing. I haven't gone to college. I don't have a business degree. I don't have a marketing degree. I don't have this. I don't have training in this.

Val Selby [00:09:59]:
I don't know how to do this. On and on and on and on. We talk ourselves down into it, right? Versus the fact you and I have creative brains and creative brains are what have created, created all of this, all of this internet, the candles, you know, somebody had to create things the first time. The second time, somebody had to improve on it. And they had to trust their gut that they were doing the right thing. So what are you holding yourself back from by not going with your gut instinct of what you should be doing and marketing the way that you want to market? I mean, there's so much out there right this very minute, everybody's algorithms this, SEO's dead, this is dead. That's dead. Everything's dead.

Val Selby [00:11:07]:
You know why shit's dead? Because they wanna sell you this way. So instead of telling you the truth of, hey, this worked for me. I can show you exactly how it can work. If it works for you, cool. If not, it's in your tool kit. Right? Uh-huh. I know that was a great sales pitch, wasn't it? Super great sales pitch.

Val Selby [00:11:33]:
But what I mean is they're going off of the fear and fear sells. I might say the sex sells, but fear sells. Fear else. Because it's very easy when you and I are in a downward spiral or even just a little bit down. As we're like, oh my gosh, something's not working. It's all about me. I suck. And then you open that email, and you get told that this is the answer.

Val Selby [00:12:05]:
And you're like, okay, that must be the answer. Here's my $97. Okay. This is gonna fix it. And then you get into that $97 workshop and you realize that they weren't even gonna give me any information because they're holding onto it like it's a freaking secret, or they didn't know what they were doing really. And I think I'm gonna talk about that next week. Next week. Next week, I think I wanna talk about competition. I better write that down quickly.

Val Selby [00:12:40]:
Quickly quickly, I gotta write that down, or I'm gonna come up next week and go, what the heck was I gonna talk about? So squirrel. Squirrel. Recap, recap, recap. Come back. Intuition. When we go with our gut, if it doesn't work the first time, and it probably won't. When? Let's use when. When it doesn't work the first time that you try it, then we sit there and we go, Oh my God.

Val Selby [00:13:10]:
See, I knew. I sucked. I went with my gut and it did me wrong. No, it didn't do you wrong. If it didn't work, it's just because you don't quite know how to draw it to the finish yet. There's tweaking that needs to happen. You probably added in something that you'd learned somewhere else, and, you know, a different process, and you just have to tweak that process to make it yours. And I know so often my clients will try something.

Val Selby [00:13:44]:
I'm horrible about this. It's really something that I'm working on. I'm aware, and I'm working on it. If I'm not really good at something right away, I don't wanna do it anymore. Like, immediately. Like, I wanna throw a little pity party and stop my foot and go, I wasn't good at it immediately. It's like, of course not. Of course not.

Val Selby [00:14:04]:
We need to do things over and over again. We need to tweak the process to make it ours. And it's not ours immediately out of the gate. It just can't be. We learned it from some place. So we have to grab it, and then we have to tweak it, and we have to make it ours. And when it starts working, then we're like, oh, yeah. See, I knew I was supposed to be doing it this way.

Val Selby [00:14:28]:
But it's hard to get to that spot because it takes work to get there. Has anybody told you work's gonna be work? Your business is gonna be work? I hope so. I hope so. I hope you're realizing that, and not in a bad way. It's a, it's a good way. I mean, we're gonna have to work to make money to pay the bills somewhere when you rather work for yourself and put that work in there. Obviously you do. That's why you're here.

Val Selby [00:14:57]:
Intuition, going with your gut. We need to figure out why, and I say we because I'm right here in it with you. Why are we not trusting our gut more when it comes to business? When we are immediately trusting our gut out in life, in life-life. Like, you're like, walk past somebody and you're like, you get that creepy feeling. Right? I mean, all of us, especially girl. We know there's a somebody that gives us a creepy feeling, and we stay the hell away from them at the party, on the street, at the grocery store, anywhere. We're like, Yeah, no. Nope.

Val Selby [00:15:41]:
Going with my gut. Going with my gut on this of "I don't know what your evil is, but it's there. And I'm staying away because I don't want no part of it." We need to go back to or not go back to because we never have. We need to be going into our business and just having some feels about it. Like, sitting there and going, okay. I want to do this. I desire to do this, whatever project it is.

Val Selby [00:16:12]:
I desire to do this project, because I believe it's going to be, it's going to do this. And what's the instant thing that your mind tells you? It's there's gonna be something. There's gonna be an instant of it's going to say, you know what? This is probably the way. And then all of a sudden your brain's gonna fight. I'm gonna go, well, should we do it that way? We don't know what we're doing. We haven't done it before. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And that's the point that you need to tell yourself, hey, we're going to give this a try.

Val Selby [00:16:47]:
Because what's the worst that can happen? The worst that can happen is you're gonna try it. You're gonna learn something from it. You might have to pivot a 100%, 360. I don't know. Might have to totally pivot. Or you might just do, like, a 5 degree pivot just to do a little tweak. Wouldn't that be awesome and amazing? All of a sudden you've got this great new thing that you're doing, and you let yourself do it. You gave yourself permission to go for it because you knew that it was going to be a positive.

Val Selby [00:17:21]:
And it's always like I said, it's always gonna be a positive. Always gonna be a positive. It's never a waste of time to learn something as long as you are implementing. So can we sit with that for a second? It is never a waste of time to learn something new when you are implementing. The implementing is the major part there because I know so many. So many. I hope it's not you. If it is, better talk to me. So many are not doing the implementation part.

Val Selby [00:18:01]:
I have talked to so many business owners over the decades, and they're learning and they're learning and they're learning because they just they don't know how to do this, and they don't know how to do that. Yes. So I don't know how to do a lot of stuff, and I've been online for 24 years. You stay and code my websites. And there's still a lot of stuff I don't know because we'll never know everything. Just like we don't know how to do everything. I don't know how to fix a car. You know? I don't know how to do everything in my life either.

Val Selby [00:18:29]:
That's why there's other people to help with that. Right? There's never gonna be a point that there isn't something new that you can learn for your business. It's just never gonna be a point. And that's a positive. That's a good thing. Because if we still have things that we can learn, that means we can still improve our business. So implement, implement, learn, try something new, implement, go with what your gut is telling you. You know, if your gut is telling you, I don't wanna be on social media, then instead of just doing the, "Eh I don't wanna be on social media," look at it and go, okay.

Val Selby [00:19:05]:
I don't wanna be on social media. What where do I wanna be? What do I wanna focus on? And how can I go blow that up big? Right? Like, not gonna be on social media anymore. I'm gonna grow my list. I'm just gonna talk to the people on my list that signed up and wanna talk to me. Okay. So how do I get more people on my list? Well, of course, I have an answer for you. A very big answer for you. You can join us here at the Bundle Bash on one of our events and get some targeted people on your list from one of our niche events.

Val Selby [00:19:39]:
But focus and implement on something. And I know it's really difficult not to fight the things that we think that we're supposed to be doing, that we should be doing. Right? And, of course, the social media always comes up with that because there's tons of people that are killing it still on social media, right? Tons of people. And so then that puts the little doubt in there. It's like, oh, maybe I should really kick it more and do that. I don't want to. My gut is telling me no. Why am I fighting my gut? Instead of fighting my gut, instead of the energy into fighting my instinct, why don't I pay attention to what my instinct is telling me to work on instead? Focus on that positive of what my gut's trying to tell me.

Val Selby [00:20:34]:
Listen for what my gut's trying to tell me. Okay. So if you're gonna learn, implement, but go with your gut. Trust your instinct. Even in business, nobody has all the answers and thinking you think that everybody that more people have the answers, you're deluding yourself. Yes. Everybody has more information. What if you have some answers that they've never even thought about? That's why you got to trust your gut.

Val Selby [00:21:19]:
Because you started your business for a very specific reason. You started your specific business for a reason, and you need to learn to trust yourself. And run with it. Now is the time to run with it. No more baby steps. No more walking. Just start running. Running in the direction that your gut is telling you.

Val Selby [00:21:50]:
Are you full of anxiety though? I hope not. I hope I got you excited. I hope the butterflies are the excited butterflies. They're going, oh, let's go. All right. So I'm gonna write this down next week. See? I already forgot because I didn't write it down. Good thing I can listen to this recording.

Val Selby [00:22:09]:
No. Next week, I'm going to chat about competition and some things that have bubbled up recently when I'm talking to members and just things that came out, and I'll hit that next week. Today, go with your gut. Please go with your gut. If you need help, hit me up. All right. Thanks for being here. Appreciate you.