Val Selby [00:00:06]:
Hey, this is Val Selby and after over 20 years online, I can track where my mindset has blocked me. If procrastination, impostor syndrome and a lack of focus have been blocking your biz, then Val Full Volume is here to help you see choices you are making. Get ready to use your expertise to collaborate like a pro as you create the business of your dreams. Now is the time to make changes and live your best life. Let's get to it!  

Val Selby [00:00:36]:
Hello. How are you doing today? I'm so glad you're here. I wanna keep this kind of short. Don't laugh at me. Stop laughing. I know. I know. Me and keeping something short is like, what? But for real, I wanna keep this short because I want you thinking, when was the last time you dreamed, dreamt, visualized, whatever word, grand word, epic word you wanna put on there about your business and what you want to create. And I don't mean just here's my 90 day plan. I love my 90 day plans. 

Val Selby [00:01:20]:
I don't even mean your, yep, 1 yearly goal. Again, goes with my mind 90 day plan. I love my yearly goal. I mean, those ideas that, like, are so big, you don't even wanna acknowledge them to yourself, let alone to anyone else. I mean those. I mean the crazy. I mean the absolute crazy. When was the last time you allowed yourself to think that way about your business? If ever.

Val Selby [00:01:51]:
Has there been a time that you've done that? I know for me, for many, many years, I didn't. And you know why? Because it was a big way of me limiting myself by not thinking big, by only thinking, gosh. I mean, over the decades, there were plenty of months that I was just like, I just want $300 this month. That's my big scary goal is $300 this month, especially back in the day. I mean, we're talking early 2000s. I got on in 2000. So back in the day, I just wanted to freaking break even, you know, with my product business. I had product inventory that I'd paid for and I just wanted to break even.

Val Selby [00:02:33]:
My goals, my goals were survival versus any big dreams, which goals should be. Goals should be, you know, something you can grab. I'm not gonna go down that road, but goals and dreams are totally different, but we can align them. But we can't align our goals to our dreams when we don't allow ourselves to have the dream of what do we want. And when we don't dream, when you don't think of what is something that you don't even think is possible right now? That sounds so much fun. Like, so much scary fun. That would just be amazing. What's something that just popped into your head? I'm pretty sure something just popped into your head.

Val Selby [00:03:24]:
And you're probably fighting it down going, oh no, we can't do that. For whatever reason you're throwing in there, we can't do that. But now it's in your head, when you're aware, you can't ever be unaware again. So you're welcome. Now you've got this thing in your head. It's going to start bugging you. It's going to start festering a little bit. It's going to be a, Hey, we let you know that you want this and now you're gonna have to deal with it.

Val Selby [00:03:57]:
So I started dreaming like crazy big in kind of a random, well, I thought it was random, but you know what? I just started really looking out there and going, you know what? I get to want whatever I want. Whatever I want. It doesn't mean that it has to be attainable. I don't have to put any restrictions on it or even a map out a process of how I'm gonna get it, but I do get to throw out there what I want. And my family was always laughing at me because I am constantly looking at million dollar houses. Now if you're in an area like me, million dollar houses means a lot different than a lot of other places. Seattle area. Jeez. You know? My house is worth 600, and I'm out in the rural area of Seattle.

Val Selby [00:04:46]:
I'm really far out, and it's that big. So realistically now, I'm looking at multimillion dollar houses when I'm looking at stuff. Right? Because price point for locations. Anyways, not the point. I've been looking at these huge houses and sharing them constantly. For one thing, how do I know what I want in my next house in my forever home if I'm not looking at these really expensive houses and seeing what is potentially out there. I don't know what's potentially out there until I start looking. So it gives me all of those ideas and those fun ideas and gets me excited.

Val Selby [00:05:21]:
For another, it gets me looking at it. You know what? I am used to living in an area where we're paying so much for everything. Our cost of living is ridiculous. And what if it's a possibility? And then I started really paying attention to, well, what if my giant boujee house on the lake is an option? I don't have to limit to where. And then it was kind of like, what if I'm making enough money that there's nobody that can squash that idea of I'm getting my expensive, boujee house. And it led into all of those what ifs, which is an exercise. It's an exercise that you can do. Like, I just was doing, what if this is true, then maybe this? What if geez, what if that's true, then maybe this? I just kind of played in my head now or before I felt like I had to do this what if-thing.

Val Selby [00:06:20]:
But once I started doing what if in my head, it just goes down this amazing road of me stopping myself from limiting my thoughts. Because the limiting thoughts are the problem. They are the thing that keeps me small. It's the thing that tells me, you can't do that because we don't know how. We've never made a million dollars. We can't do that because we don't know how because we've never done it. Versus, what if I make a million dollars? What would that look like? What if I get the house of my dreams? What would that look like? How would that feel? What does my house even look like? Do I even want that? I don't know. Let's look around.

Val Selby [00:07:08]:
Let's go to Zillow and look around. So I do I'm constantly house shopping all the time, house shopping, multiple different locations because we don't quite know exactly where we're gonna retire yet. But it keeps me dreaming. And the more I've been dreaming, the less I've been holding myself back, the less I've been limiting myself. Because I do have big goals. I mean, if you are on here and you are holding a summit, I would love for you to contact me. I would love to talk in your summit. If you are hosting a live event, I would love to join your live event.

Val Selby [00:07:44]:
If you are hosting a small, intimate live event or retreat, I would love for you to contact me with information because I want to get out there more. That's my goal. My goal is to get out there more because the more I'm out there, the more you're out there, the more ripple effect we have. I'm all about this ripple effect, all about it. Because when you are out there with your expertise, creating a ripple, you are connecting with so many people you do not even know. Your expertise and what you're bringing connects with just, it's infinite amount of people you don't know. We will never know how many people we are touching when we get out there and we get our words out there and we get our expertise out there. We can never know because it's the ripple effect of you've touched this person and they've shared.

Val Selby [00:08:41]:
It's the pay it forward idea and they're sharing and everybody's just sharing and it's wonderful. And that is definitely part of my big grand dreams, which are scary. My big grand dreams scare me. Don't think that just because I'm embracing them, just because I'm aware of them, that they don't scare the hell out of me. And especially now knowing I have this huge anxiety issue, I go back and forth because, you know, you just heard me. I just put it out there that if you have a summit or if you have an event, I want to be there. Well, new Val with this anxiety that she knows about is going, holy crap, how are we gonna do that? We should already just like, edit that part out because, oh my god. What if somebody does contact us and then we're gonna go do the thing? And so then I have to I'm already working through it, which I'm not like freaking out right now, which is beautiful.

Val Selby [00:09:41]:
But then I'm already planning how I'm gonna work through that because I have big goals and I follow some people, like, I don't know if you follow. Yeah. So absolutely adore her. And the more she has talked about her anxiety and her issues with anxiety, the more I adore her. Because some of us are doing this and we look like extroverts and we're not. We're not. And even if we are extroverts, doesn't mean we're not going through a lot of push, head push to get out there, to do the things that we know we not even want to do, we need to do. I need to connect.

Val Selby [00:10:24]:
I need to. And I think that's part of my anxiety issue as well is I think as I've been dreaming and going through things, that realization of how much I want more connection is part of the anxiety, I think. I really do think it. Somebody wants to analyze it with me. We can analyze it. You come on the podcast, we'll analyze it. Who can use me as a test patient? But I know that when I'm really supposed to be doing something, it does cause me more anxiety. And that's part of my issue with dealing with my anxiety is like, boy, this is really bubbling.

Val Selby [00:11:02]:
This means that we really need to do it. And oh God, here we go. We're gonna do it. Because we have to, and we're gonna shake and our voice is gonna sound like crap, but we're still gonna do it. And we're gonna be analyze ourself and no, we're not gonna analyze ourself. Anyways, dreams, back to dreams. You have anxiety. I'm sorry.

Val Selby [00:11:21]:
I hope I didn't just give you a little panic attack as I work through that. Because I'm going to assume that if you have anxiety, your panic little brain is pretty similar. Maybe, maybe not. I don't know. So take a look, sit down, take a look at your business. And when I say your business, I don't even mean like, I don't want you looking specifically like, okay, I have my Etsy store. What do I want for that? Okay, I have my product shop. What do I want for that? Okay.

Val Selby [00:11:53]:
Well, I have this coaching. What do I want for that? That's more goal oriented of where do you want that to go? I want you to sit down and like really dream of, okay, I own a business that allows me to do whatever I want. What is the, whatever I want? What is that? Are you liking? What is that? Whatever I want. We talk about this all the time of, okay, I'm running my business so that I can do what I want when I want. Well, what is the want? Those are the dreams I'm talking about. What do you want? It's not easy. Especially we women, we, a lot of the times have been squashing our wants for so many decades, all of our life probably, that it gets scary. I think that's part of my anxiety is like, now I'm embracing this.

Val Selby [00:12:49]:
I get to do whatever I want. And the more I say it, the more I believe it. Because I have to believe it. You have to believe it, that you can do whatever you want and you really can. You honestly can. You have the power to do what you want, but you have to figure out what it is you want first. So don't play small with your dreams. Dream big.

Val Selby [00:13:14]:
Dream big. I got a goal of grossing a million dollars and I'm pushing towards it because now that I have this goal, now I just need to get the assistance to help me to that goal. But I couldn't get that goal before because I didn't know I wanted it. Just like my lake house on property. You never know. Once you put it out there that this is what you want, you can just like, let it be, let it float, embrace it. Work towards embrace it, I should say. Work towards embracing it, you know.

Val Selby [00:13:57]:
Get used to it. That's more the terminology I want. I want you to get used to your big, giant, scary goals so that they're not so scary anymore. They're more matter of fact. My family doesn't - I have a sarcastic, snarky family. I'm sure you're super surprised about that. You know, yes, I created my own sarcastic Starkey family. Of course, I did.

Val Selby [00:14:21]:
But they used to giggle and be like, well, she's whatever mom kind of thing when I was talking about all this money. And I'm just like, funny, whatever. I don't care. You know? And I'd be Cirque back. I'm like, whatever. Well, when I'm fully loaded with all of this money, then I guess you're just not gonna wanna be a part of it. And now they're just used to it. They're used to hearing me talk about this grandiose dreams that I have.

Val Selby [00:14:47]:
And more we joke about it, and the more I just talk about it as if it's a matter of fact, because it is a matter of fact that it's gonna happen, the more comfortable it's gotten, the more I've been able to embrace that this is gonna happen, but I had to talk about it more. So you have to figure out what it is and start talking about it. And you might just need to talk about it amongst members or around people that might understand a little bit more. So if you join the Bash Pass, you can definitely come in there. We're gonna start talking about our dreams a lot more for sure, instead of just being in the moment all of the time. But I know for some people talking around family, if you don't have a lot of support, it's definitely not easy. Okay. So I understand that.

Val Selby [00:15:38]:
So if you're looking for a place, a safe place to talk, I've got Bash Pass membership. I'd love for you to join us in there. We meet every week and have private coaching, and we can talk about your big scary goals until they are not scary anymore all the time. I love that you're here. I appreciate that you're here and I want your big goals to happen for you. So let's figure out what they are. Sit with them. Sit with those big scary goals.

Val Selby [00:16:13]:
Write them down. Tell people. All right. Talk to you next week. Bye.