Val Selby [00:00:06]:
Hey, this is Val Selby and after over 20 years online, I can track where my mindset has blocked me. If procrastination, impostor syndrome and a lack of focus have been blocking your biz, then Val Full Volume is here to help you see choices you are making. Get ready to use your expertise to collaborate like a pro as you create the business of your dreams. Now is the time to make changes and live your best life. Let's get to it!   

Val Selby [00:00:36]:
Hello. Welcome to Val Full Volume. I'm Val, and I'm so happy you were here in a little bit since I actually did record because I recorded some ahead of time, and now I'm behind. I'll get caught back up, but, man, it was so nice to be scheduled ahead, and I felt so adult. It's like, oh, look at this. They're so far ahead. So I want that feeling again, which means I have to do that again, the work ahead. I love working ahead because things come up. I know what I wanna talk about today. Changes.

Val Selby [00:01:13]:
Big changes, little changes. They all throw us out of rhythm. Every single one of them. It doesn't matter how big or how small. It's going to change the rhythm we are in, and that's usually good. It's usually good even though it feels yuck. So that's what this week has been for me. I'm going through a lot of changes, a lot of changes, some personal issues, nothing that can't be tackled.

Val Selby [00:01:42]:
It's going to be great, but, yeah, going through some personal issues. And that, for once, has led me to walking away from my business a lot and just being present, and that's weird for me. I know I am so many others out there. What do we do when we're going through stuff and it's icky, and we don't wanna process the mindset, especially because every life is mindset. Everything about life is how do you work with the mindset? So sitting in it, usually, I would grab a hold of a project, and I would just - I think I can use the term "hide in it." I would just, like, bury myself in it, and that way, there's no thought process really going. It's like, okay. Test 1, test 2, test 3, test 4.

Val Selby [00:02:32]:
Let's just do that. Way long time ago, I would hide from it. So that's part of burying myself in work. But years ago, of course, I had the kids, so I could use that excuse. That was such a easy excuse of why I can't get stuff done because I have to go do this and have to do that. And, of course, I'd volunteer for stuff at school extra. And I would hide, keep myself so busy and hide. Well, after 51 years of hiding shit from pretending I was hiding it from myself, a lot of it's all crashing down because I am making big changes in my business and it has to do with focusing and just getting more focused.

Val Selby [00:03:14]:
I know so many hate the word niching down, but as you were working your business, it just happens. So I don't at this time, when I'm talking to clients, I'm not trying to get them niched all the way down to the smallest niche possible anymore towards the beginning. That was what I was taught. That's what I regurgitated for so long. We do need to niche down, but the niching down is a process because let's be real. When you start your business, you start with this idea, and this is the path that you're going to take because you have to take a certain path. You have to move forward on a path, any path. You just have to be taking action.

Val Selby [00:04:01]:
As you are taking action, you get feedback. You get, okay, this didn't work, but you have to figure out why it didn't work. Did it not work because you didn't market it or because your audience didn't really want it. So you have to do the feedback, but you have to be making action steps forward. And that leads you down the road where you begin to be niching down. Because as you're creating products, as you're connecting with your community, you are learning more, just personally learning more as you deep dive into projects more to bring them the information. And you're learning from your community as well. What do they need? As they're doing stuff, it's gonna be popping up.

Val Selby [00:04:43]:
Oh my gosh. Okay. Well, I didn't know that they didn't know how to do this. Okay. I didn't know that there is this niche of these people, which is what I specialize in, and I can bring them very specialized information. And that's how it happens. But you do, at the beginning, have to start off with who the hell are you talking to? I have a little workshop and I will get it. I have to get it edited because it's years old, and I'm not putting it back on the site.

Val Selby [00:05:12]:
I'm not moving it straight over from my Val Selby site over to here because it's just not new. That is new. It's not going to work for what I wanna put out there right now. And I have to put it out there because when I recorded that years ago, I was regurgitating the information. And that information actually did help me with the business that I was working on at that time. So it's conflicting for me because I'm just like, well, the more I niche down, the better the marketing got for that certain website, it did help me to go with, okay, what TV shows are they watching? I mean, what car are they driving? All of this, because when I was writing the workshops, I was writing the emails. I was picturing this exact person, Jennifer. Hey, because that's how I can do my middle age.

Val Selby [00:06:00]:
And I mean, if you're my age, 51, you have a ton of Jennifers in your life. It just is, it just is. That was the popular thing, popular name back in the day. My brother got lucky because his name would have been Jennifer if he was a girl. Anyways, squirrel. So niching, targeting, that means changing even if it's this change in a similar direction, actually niching down, it's the same direction. It's just getting a little bit tighter, a little bit more. And I know for me, thank goodness I'm working with a coach.

Val Selby [00:06:34]:
Thank goodness I listened to my intuition and said, you'd need to and you desire to work with Beatrice because a lot of stuff is coming up. A lot of stuff. And especially as I get closer to this is exactly what I wanna create, a lot of stuff is coming up. And she's so wonderful for walking me through it. And for once in my life, making me sit in it. And sitting in it, super uncomfortable. I don't wanna sit in it. Who wants to sit in the ick? But I know that's been part of my lesson through the last year is being present in the ick, acknowledging the ick and that way the ick can pass instead of just going into denial, putting in a compartmentalized little box, and pretending it's not there even though all it does is fall off the shelf constantly to remind me that it's there.

Val Selby [00:07:25]:
Pretty good visual. Right? Did you get that one? I'm going to keep that. I'm gonna keep that visual for sure. Here's what happens when I pretend that I can compartmentalize my issues or my concerns or any of the stuff that's taking me out of my comfort zone. It's a box that I put that shit in. And that box, just like a gremlin, it just keeps falling off the shelf. Hey. You forgot about us.

Val Selby [00:07:49]:
But, hey. I forgot about this. Yeah. I would totally gonna say that that one. That would how does that one feel for you? Is that what you do? Do you love the denial train as much as I've always loved it? And so like I'm saying, the big part of it is the fact that I do know this is exactly the direction, but it's changed. And even though everything this week is that's going on is change for major business and life improvement, it's change. And it's uncomfortable, and it's awkward, and I get that I don't want us. And this week, it's been so bad.

Val Selby [00:08:31]:
It's been so difficult, I should say. I guess it's not bad because this change is very, very positive for me. It's so difficult that it's not even the "I don't wanna's," it's the "I can'ts." And so for the "I can'ts," even the "I don't wannas," I really encourage you to talk through the "I don't wannas." But when you're getting the "I can'ts," please, please talk to people about it. There's no reason to be sitting in the "I can'ts" alone. Don't say that I'm alone. I've been working with a couple of clients that have been through the "I can'ts," and this is why I can help so many of these similar types is because I've been going through this, and I'm like, one step ahead.

Val Selby [00:09:15]:
Once I've had it's like, okay. I just went through that. I know what I was feeling when I went through that. Share what you were feeling so we can get it out. Because once we get it out, it makes it a little bit easier. I'm not gonna tell you that it's gonna be easy right to make immediately. It's not. If you're working through some major changes, it's not gonna be easy and it's you're gonna get the "I don't wannas," the "I can'ts," the let's just not make change.

Val Selby [00:09:39]:
Let's just stay where we are because we know exactly what happens when we stay where we are. You have to make change to get to your goals, and you have to decide, are you willing to go through the scary to get to your goals? Because it's gonna be scary. There's gonna be so many days. I mean, I will be flying high. I am like, yes, I am doing this. This is happening. And this has nothing to do with my anxiety or anything. Believe me, this is just normal human brain crap that our brains want to protect us, and all of a sudden, we're just like, wait.

Val Selby [00:10:19]:
But, oh, man. No. Let's not. Let's not do that. Let's not do that. Stay over here where it's safe. That's new. We don't know that direction because that's new direction.

Val Selby [00:10:29]:
We don't know it. So we're gonna stay over here where we do know exactly what's going on, and let's just stay over here. Anytime you're jumping over to making changes in anything, it's going to be creepy. And I just, I encourage you to not do it alone. Reach out to a coach. Reach out to me if you feel like maybe I'm the right coach for you, but reach out to any coach to help you through. Find that connection. Find a accountability partner.

Val Selby [00:10:59]:
See if that's a good thing for you. Join a group program where you connect with the people in there, even if it's a free group, I run my free group, find connections in my free group and see where that leads. Just use the communities that are out there. Use your community that you're building. Use my community because you are part of it. You're listening. That makes you part of my community, but just reach out and realize we're all going through the ick, the yuck, as we grow and as we move towards our goals. If we're not moving towards our goal, then we're totally fine.

Val Selby [00:11:35]:
We're like, we're frustrated as hell. Frustrated as hell because there's not nothing's changing. And, of course, it's not because we have to be the change. We have to make changes. We have to take action for those changes. And that can be super scary even when it's the most positive thing to be doing. I know it. I made it this week, minute hardcore this week. So I am very proud of myself for reaching out to a couple of people.

Val Selby [00:12:06]:
Not a lot, just a couple of people who I knew would support me the most, absolutely the most. Support me with full love and virtual hugs, and I'm so glad I did. So glad I did. So that's why I would encourage you to just please reach out to your community as you're going through any of this. When you wanna make change, you're gonna need somebody on your side. Some people have a spouse or significant other, but sometimes you can't talk to them about some of the business things because they just don't understand. Okay? So I get that. So find an accountability partner that gets some of this, but definitely do talk to your loved ones as well and tell them, because believe me, he was the first one that I told.

Val Selby [00:12:50]:
So change. We want our goals. We really want our goals, which means we're gonna have change, has to be change, and it's gonna be uncomfortable, varying degrees of uncomfortable. So reach out. Use your community. Much love. I'll talk to you next week.