Val Selby [00:00:06]:
Hey, this is Val Selby and after over 20 years online, I can track where my mindset has blocked me. If procrastination, impostor syndrome and a lack of focus have been blocking your biz, then Val Full Volume is here to help you see choices you are making. Get ready to use your expertise to collaborate like a pro as you create the business of your dreams. Now is the time to make changes and live your best life. Let's get to it!

Val Selby [00:00:36]:
Hello. Hello. Hello. I'm so glad you're here. So glad you're here. I'm gonna hope that you're gonna be glad that you're here too. I know you will be. This is Val from Val Full Volume. Sometimes I have to take the deep breath because there's a rant in here, and I don't wanna start off with just, like, pow into it. So let me talk a little bit about what I am recognizing that the rants are coming up, and why they're coming up.

Val Selby [00:01:15]:
So right now, it's like a test. It's definitely a test. There's no like about it. It is me sitting there in my beliefs getting caught up in amazing conversations and collabs and all this, and oh my gosh, we can do this and we can do that, and yeah, that sounds awesome. Let's do this, and brainstorming, and just it's great. And then all of a sudden, I feel it. I feel the shift in the energy, and the sales starts coming. Right? All of a sudden, they're pitching, pitching hard, pitching real hard, and I'm at a point now where I'm internally laughing because the pitch is so hard that, thankfully, it's not even a thought in my head.

Val Selby [00:02:07]:
The pitch is so hard that I am like, wow. I don't know right now if I even believe that you can deliver what you are talking about, because I don't think you believe it. You know? Do you know? And it's awkward to be in this position now where I'm recognizing this, but it's also super powerful. Super powerful. Because I'm just - there's not even a conversation of, well, maybe later let's talk about it. I'm just a no, and I get to be a no. There doesn't have to be a not now, like, okay, well, hit me back up. When I say hit me back up in a few months, I truly mean it.

Val Selby [00:02:48]:
Like, now is just not the time. I'm being hyper aware of my time. Please do hit me up. I'm not using it just to get them off my back. Oh, gosh. That's so powerful. See, this is going in great. I'm coming in with the power instead of the rant.

Val Selby [00:03:04]:
Nice. Growth, Val. This is growth. So I know you know what I'm talking about. You're on a call with somebody, and, you know, ironically, some of them, they're supposed to be a collaboration call, and I'm not an idiot. I know some people schedule collaboration calls with me because all they wanna do is pitch, and that's just fine. I have a list for people like that, and it's never, never again. You're gone.

Val Selby [00:03:34]:
I pull the card from my mother, dead to me. Just go on over there and be you. That's cool. Just go on over there and be you.

Val Selby [00:03:42]:
I don't even see you anymore. My mom is the queen of that, queen of that. And that's just okay. That's just like, you know what? I'm weeding out the people that I don't wanna work with. That's cool. Yeah. You're just gonna go over there. You go you, be you, collect yous, collect more of yous.

Val Selby [00:04:02]:
Hopefully, you can collect the yous so they don't even come towards me and all. It's alright. It's alright. Go be you over there. And today, it was really bubbling. I was having a conversation with somebody, and it just I mean, it snowballed fast. I don't even think it was a snowball. Snowballs feel fast.

Val Selby [00:04:20]:
This was just a freaking boulder rolling down the hill of a pitch fest. And I was excited to do some collabs. I really was. We were having a great conversation back and forth. And this one conversation is gonna spark a few different things that I want to talk to you about, that I want to see which ones are all are bubbling for you. Because believe me, they all bubbled for me. I understand where I am at energetically in my getting quite a few things out. So I know I'm bringing testers in, testers in to help me work through it.

Val Selby [00:04:59]:
So there was a few things. I really was looking forward to doing some collaborations. I was like, oh my gosh. Me, that, you, this could be the good one too, and create something. And then once it start going downhill, I was paying attention to and I'm not gonna apologize. Not gonna apologize. It's not masculine entry. K? Because I'm not getting into feminine energy, masculine energy, and all of that.

Val Selby [00:05:26]:
You go find somebody who's more proficient in that knowledge. I'm more listening to the patriarchal sales. The bro sales. And when I say that bro sales are not just men anymore. Okay? Because as women, that was the only thing we had to look towards. Because we didn't have hardly any women. We still are not having a ton of women to pick from as mentors that are leading the CEO spaces, leading the entrepreneur space in a huge, huge spot that we want to emulate. There's still not a lot of them.

Val Selby [00:06:08]:
So what has had to happen over the decades is those of us in the entrepreneurial space, if you've been a CEO, you had the same thing. I was not in that space, but we had to look to who was successful. And it was the pro marketing, obviously. Obviously. That's what was working. And so, a lot of very successful women, that's what they emulated. That's what they became. Those were their mentors.

Val Selby [00:06:38]:
Totally understandable. That space is all gone. It may have its space in a certain area, but it sure as hell is not in my market or community. Definitely not. We're seeing it as it's walking towards us. We don't even have to have the conversations start. We can just feel it, see it as the bro marketing is coming at us. So again, I wanna reiterate that the bro marketing is not necessarily that all men are marketing this way.

Val Selby [00:07:10]:
Absolutely not. I do follow some male marketers, and they are authentic. Love it. Bro marketing, it's not authentic. It's not authentic. And that's where this different space is coming in now. I don't have to tell you that the whole marketing world is upside down and sideways. It's on a different planet.

Val Selby [00:07:34]:
And I'm not talking about spiritually. I'm not even going, woo woo. I'm just talking about the difference between marketing in the last decades or, you know, last year. And the marketing that's happening now and it is working now and will be working. As I talk to all of my marketing friends that have been doing this for a really long time, we're all in the same mindset of we are not sure where this is gonna land yet, but we are here for it, and we are here to be going up with it. Being authentic, up leveling as we figure out where this is going, and we're gonna be a part of it. And I'm excited for that change because previously, I would've had this conversation, and I still would've been, this person knows so many people, and they're working with so many people. Red flag number 1, I heard about all of those people.

Val Selby [00:08:30]:
Name drop. 2, name drop. All male marketers. Again, hardcore sales male marketers. Okay. Flag number 2. I'm working towards that rant, I promise it's almost there. Almost there.

Val Selby [00:08:47]:
So I started paying attention to that, but not during the conversation. It was after, when I was talking to my accountability buddy, and we were having our weekly meeting that we have. And all of a sudden, I started talking, and all of a sudden, I'm ranting, and I'm like, oh, shit. I got a podcast in here, don't I? You know? I'm like so we're both laughing. I'm like, wow. I did not know that this was here, but here it is. Right there on the platter in front of me of everything I just talked about. Why am I even contemplating a collaboration here? And I know for me, you know what? It's the growth period balancing through here right now.

Val Selby [00:09:34]:
So for me, part of it's a ego. I was like, Oh my gosh, this person wants to work with me. And my ego says, That's amazing. You know, I'm so excited, so excited. Let's make this work. The ideas that we were having before it went, you know, downhill, like I said, they were great. We were brainstorming back and forth, and it was amazing. It was a back and forth, it was so fun, before I went downhill. Before it wasn't fun anymore.

Val Selby [00:10:05]:
It was so fun until it wasn't fun anymore. So then, as I'm having my little rant, which, you know, bless my accountability buddy. Love you, lady. I love that we can just rant. We can just go off. No big deal. We know it's not personal. The other person is not even technically there as we're going through it.

Val Selby [00:10:21]:
We're just working through it. And as I'm listening, I'm working through it, I'm like, how many times have we talked about being authentic? You know, say it out loud to myself and to my accountability buddy, of course, because we talk about it. And here I am. I'm complaining about this, complaining about that. And as I'm saying it and working it out loud, I am somebody that works things out loud, hence podcast is crazy. Because half the time, I come on here and I'm working through something, and I don't even know that I had to work through it. Anyways, as I'm sitting there and I have this list of the things that were talked about and future contact and, you know, let's see if we can make this work and, you know, that's what I'm talking about.

Val Selby [00:11:01]:
I'm like, wow. I'm like, when I got on there with my friend, it was really something I was really excited about. Really excited about. Again, I know a big part of that was ego. Right? It fed my confidence. It really did. Not a bad thing. That's not a bad thing, but that's not enough to be a hell yes to collaborating with somebody that in all reality, I do not want to send my community to. Ding ding ding ding.

Val Selby [00:11:39]:
That's why I was ranting because it was dawning, you know, I was working through it. It was dawning on me that I was looking at doing this collaboration. And what if I did send people that way? My people would not be happy over there. You would not be happy on that. And I have multiple reasons why that's the case. Multiple reasons why, you know? And that's where I started getting ranty because I was working it through my head going, oh my god. Why are you even thinking about this, you idiot? It's like, you wouldn't tell a specific client to do that, but you're gonna like, oh, well, this might work for you. Authenticity.

Val Selby [00:12:20]:
Authenticity. Just even having the thought that I was contemplating that pissed me off about myself. I'm like, sending somebody to anything here in this space is not who I am and not where I want to lead people towards when they are, you know, possibly done working with me. And I guess I don't have a rant anymore. I guess I've worked through that. Oh, wait. I do have the rant because here's where the ranty part came in. Let me amp up.

Val Selby [00:12:53]:
Let me amp up a little bit now. I have been really leaning into a space where I know what I want to deliver. I know what I want to charge. I know what I want to create, and I still, I mean, I'm human. I'm human. I still have the battle of, you know, what is the correct price. There who knows? We never know. We never know.

Val Selby [00:13:21]:
We never know. We know the correct price for right now is X, and that's all we know. Next time, it could be Y. Time after that, it could be B. Don't know. Right now, I know the prices I want to do my next launches at. My current launch, my next launches, and you do too. So, when I come into a conversation with full confidence, not doing the wishy, well, I could do this price or well, I'm not really sure.

Val Selby [00:13:50]:
When I come into a conversation and somebody is asking me questions and, you know, in a coach-like manner, totally being great, let me retract that. I don't know if it's great or not. I'm not even going there. I'm coming in full of confidence as I'm discussing my next year, because I have that set out. My next year, what's going on? And I'm getting negative pushback. I don't even realize it's negative pushback. It's, oh, well this doesn't go with this? Like, nope. I mean, I am not even questioning it and that feels beautiful and wonderful and I celebrate that.

Val Selby [00:14:28]:
But then I'm getting pushback on the pricing. Well, I think you should charge. Oh, okay. So I wrote it down. Oh. Oh. Okay. So I wrote it down.

Val Selby [00:14:39]:
Well, I'd really like to see and so then I left the conversation wishy washy. Right? Because now I have this other human that I've obviously put them up a little bit higher than me, so I feel like they've got more knowledge. I don't know. I don't know. All of a sudden, I've leveled them up to maybe they know better than I do. And I felt wishy washy. So that's where the rant came in. Because as I started talking it through with my friend, and going through the bro marketing stuff, and then all of a sudden I was like, nope.

Val Selby [00:15:12]:
It's coming back to this pricing. Because here was this person and I have worked through the fact that I and you do not have to charge thousands of dollars for workshops or for anything else if we don't want to. We do not. This is our business. Make or break. It is our business, and we get to decide our price points. I have done a battle with myself in the last, like, year and a half. As I've gone through all of this change, a battle because there's this whole niche in the coaching world that was it's just been more and more and more and constantly saying, oh my god.

Val Selby [00:16:02]:
We should be charging $12,000 for an hour of our time or you're, you know? And that whole energy of you're not successful unless you're getting this mat much for your workshops and you're worth more and wow. Get the fuck out. Get the fuck out of my head. Go away. Part of being a CEO is we get to do what we want. We know our community. They might know their community. I don't think they do.

Val Selby [00:16:34]:
I'm not believing that they do anymore. I feel that they're freaking scared as shit, because what they've been doing for so many years is not working and they're gonna come out even harder. And we're gonna be pushed. And it's gonna need to be a boundary that we're like, fuck off. I am doing this my way. Period. You don't know my audience. You don't know me, technically.

Val Selby [00:16:57]:
You do not know what's gonna work for the people that I talk to daily. And you can see this is where, yeah. This is where I got angry.

Val Selby [00:17:06]:
Not on the call, actually. It was after and I was as I was processing that I didn't know I needed to process. And it was just this whole concept of feeling like you don't know what you're doing. And having others make me feel like that, which I know I have control of, but I'm not quite there. Sometimes I have to work backwards. Right? I have to let it all happen and then look at it backwards and go, okay. That happened. Okay.

Val Selby [00:17:34]:
That happened. It's okay. It happened. It happened. I didn't have my big girl panties on quite snug enough, now I'm, but I'm hyper aware now for next conversations, because I can just end the conversations now. I can just be a, you know what? This isn't gonna work. That's just not gonna work. And then conversation's over, and I get to have that boundary.

Val Selby [00:17:54]:
And we're going to have to have those boundaries. They're going to have to be really secure boundaries. So those of us that want to be more authentic in our marketing, in our delivery, with our communities, with ourselves, all of that. We are really going to have to reach out to each other because we're going to need to build a bigger wall. We just are. We're gonna have to group together to be strong in that regard. Because I do feel, like I said, that that whole old school marketing, no matter what gender you are, that old school marketing is dying, like, fast, and dying animals get desperate, and desperation just fuels fear. So then they start just really poking at the fear points.

Val Selby [00:18:53]:
And when we're already battling confidence issues, any of those little pain points can open up quick and fester. So we're really gonna need to reach out to each other. You know, really reach out. Talk it out loud. Find your accountability buddy. Join the Bash Pass membership, meet with us every week. And then you also have the Facebook group, so you can talk about it right then and there when it's happening. You can talk it out with us.

Val Selby [00:19:19]:
Facebook group is even open for you to go on live. Because I know for me, if I talk it out, I get to work through it a lot quicker. That's how I process. Again, hence the podcast. So I didn't even get all ranty. I'm so sorry. I hope you're not disappointed. Maybe I'll find something soon to get ranty about.

Val Selby [00:19:38]:
I guess I had worked through it a lot more, and already it wasn't bothering me. It's just about me taking ownership of what I want and how I want to market, and telling I don't have to tell people to their face. Internally, after the conversation, I can just be fuck off. I do not need this. Maybe I wanna create a fuck off list. Instead of a no conversation list, I'm just gonna call it the fuck off list. That would be fun. I am.

Val Selby [00:20:09]:
I am. I'm gonna do that. I'm like, nope. Don't wanna work with you. Go to the fuck off list. You gotta make things fun. Right? Because we're going through a lot. We're going through a lot.

Val Selby [00:20:17]:
Just normal everyday life is going through a lot. Bringing in all of the business, and bringing in all of the business shifts that are happening, it's immense. Immense. So don't do it alone. Don't do it alone. You can join the free Facebook group and talk in there. Bundle Bash Collaboration HQ, if you search it on, Facebook. You know, free group.

Val Selby [00:20:39]:
Come in there, start conversation in there. There's lots of places. And like I said, it's going to be more important than ever that those of us that want to be marketing authentically and are truly here to be helping people and making money. Don't even think I'm not talking about that. We're business people. We are here to make money or it's not a business. We are just going to have to reach out to each other a lot more. And that's a good thing.

Val Selby [00:21:10]:
It's a good thing. It's forcing us out of our comfort zone. It's forcing us to realize that there are so many more women like us than we've ever been led to believe. And when we're working together, collaborating, or we're working together, we're making waves that way. Each of us can make ripples and those people can make ripples. But when we get to collab and working together, we just go right into ocean waves. Make a big impact quicker. Let's let that roll.

Val Selby [00:21:42]:
Let's let that roll. I'm really gonna have to figure out a rant now, because I was ready to get over here and get all rants, ranty pants. And then, I lost my ranty pants, I guess. So, alright. That's it. That's it for me this week. Maybe I'll have something ranty next week. Tune in and let's find out.

Val Selby [00:22:02]:
Alright. Thanks for being here. I appreciate you. Reach out anytime.