Val Selby [00:00:06]:
Hey, this is Val Selby and after over 20 years online, I can track where my mindset has blocked me. If procrastination, impostor syndrome and a lack of focus have been blocking your biz, then Val Full Volume is here to help you see choices you are making. Get ready to use your expertise to collaborate like a pro as you create the business of your dreams. Now is the time to make changes and live your best life. Let's get to it!  

Val Selby [00:00:36]:
Hey. Welcome. Welcome to Val Full Volume. I'm Val Selby, and we are here to finish that 1 plus 2 equals 3 thing that we've been working on. So where'd that even come from if you're just coming from not listening to the last two episodes? I have three things that new people to my community or new people to me working with them, you know, however I'm working with them when they're new. These are the three things that are always mentioned as their struggle. Lack of focus. Oh, crap. I didn't write them down. Lack of focus, not knowing what to work on and not having enough time.

Val Selby [00:01:19]:
If number 1 is lack of focus, number 2 is not knowing what to work on. So 1 plus 2, it will always equal 3 of there's not enough time. There will always. Those 2 things, and I gave you stuff that will help you with those 2 things in the last two episodes. So do you haven't listened to those yet. Go on down. I'm sure they're in the show notes. 1 plus 2 equals 3.

Val Selby [00:01:44]:
If you don't have a focus and you don't know what you're working on, you will not have enough time ever. Because deep breath here, deep breath with me. We don't have enough time to get everything that we want done. Nope. There will never ever, ever be enough time to get everything that we want done. It's a problem. It's the problem with being an entrepreneur. It's the problem with being a person who wants to help other people.

Val Selby [00:02:17]:
It's a problem with people who want to spend time with their family, who want to spend time with their dogs, who want to spend time with their loved ones, who, whether those are furry or not so furry. There is not enough time because there's so much that we want to do. So number 3 is absolutely an excuse that there's not enough time because we can use that. And I say we, because I definitely can use it as well and have, and will probably do it again because I'm human. We can use the there's not enough time for every single thing in our life. Absolutely can. I mean, I've had to step away previously. If you go back to some way, way older episodes, I've been with a volunteer organization for the last - oh gosh.

Val Selby [00:03:15]:
I guess I guess 4, 4 plus years. I got in right before COVID, so 4, 4 and a half, almost 5. This would be 5, I bet. Yep. Sorry. Let me work math out in my head while recording. It's 5 right now. 5 years that I've been working with this women's group, GFWC, and I absolutely adore it.

Val Selby [00:03:37]:
I adore the people. Unfortunately, I don't have the time. Something had to go. And, you know, unfortunately, that's what had to go. Even though the time commitment wasn't super huge, it was still pulling away from other things. We have to make choices. And what is the season that we are in right now? What is our focus? What do we really want? I was just talking with a newer client. I've known her for quite a while online, but we hadn't done a coaching session before.

Val Selby [00:04:14]:
And, you know, I was explaining that we have to allow things to change with how our lives are changing. That, you know, previously, I make no bones at all about the fact that my family has and will always come first. That's how it is. I do not make myself feel bad anymore for the fact that I will dump whatever and reschedule whatever if somebody needs me in my family. I own it. I own it, and I'm okay with that. I wasn't okay when I didn't own it, when I felt bad that I should be doing both things or I shouldn't be canceling even though it's family. It's like, no.

Val Selby [00:04:57]:
Embrace the fact that you have priorities, and priorities have different levels, and it's good to have that. I mean, I still have it. My kids are grown, you know, it's just my husband and I and the fur babies that are driving me insane lately. I pretty sure it's the season change for when they're gonna be cooped up more in the house. Blah. I'm not going down that squirrel rabbit hole right now. But our priorities change as we're going on, and we don't usually allow ourselves to make change. So we have to take a look at, you know, what's the perfect day look like? This was one of the things I asked her to do. What's your perfect day look like? Because I have done that exercise before many times, and my perfect day looked so different from the day that I was having, that it was not even imaginable.

Val Selby [00:05:59]:
Oh, no. No. I take that back. Sorry. It was imaginable. I couldn't connect to it as it ever being a reality. And 3 years ago-ish, 4, I don't know. I'm losing track of time.

Val Selby [00:06:16]:
Sometime within the last 5 years, I sat down and I mapped out, you know, what's my perfect day look like? And I cried. I'm not a crier. I'm more of a crier now. Thanks, menopause. But I'm still not a crier. So when I cried, I'm like, oh, crap. What's going on? And I looked at it, and my body had already realized that this perfect day that I had written out is already 100% in my control of creating and very, very doable. And that was hard also because all of a sudden now it's like, oh my gosh.

Val Selby [00:07:00]:
Okay. And I wasn't in full celebration mode yet, but I celebrate that now because a big part of figuring out and being able to do everything that I want to get done in a day is owning the choices that I'm making. And y'all know. No. I'm not southern. Y'all know I love my TV. I love my movies. I love binge watching.

Val Selby [00:07:30]:
Binge watching is a sport. I love it. We're in sports season now. Sports season mean football. We are full blown football season started, which means I have my booty planted 2 full days. That's a Saturday and a Sunday. A Monday night and a Thursday night. Saturday because we watch college.

Val Selby [00:07:53]:
So Saturday, I'm not as firmly planted because I only have a couple of colleges that I even give close to a damn about. But they're my days and I'm not - they're not - it's not gonna change. It's not gonna change. It's something I like doing. I enjoy doing it. I will make the choice to do it. And I realized that I will make the choice to do it. So that means that I don't get to binge watch my Netflix as much because I have to.

Val Selby [00:08:18]:
I want to have control of my time. And if I'm going to do that much football, then I really can't go and binge watch all the shows that I wanna watch as well and expect to get everything I want done in my work. I am switching up some things. I try very hard to not be on my computer in the living room because that means that I'm working after hours typically. That said, if my butt's gonna be planted as I'm watching football, I will be working on little projects that I can be doing. So I'm paying attention to that time aspect. Right? That's okay. I have this much time set aside.

Val Selby [00:09:03]:
This is gonna happen. I'm gonna be watching football all day on Sunday. I'm all in on pro football, fantasy football. I'm number 3 right now. Hopefully moved up to number 1 by the time you're hearing this. But I have my group. I mean, we talk all day long on our chats. That's my thing.

Val Selby [00:09:22]:
Okay. So if I'm gonna do that, I'm gonna bring in some work. I wanna work on some work. That's gonna be part of me owning my time. So what won't get done during the week, but would be easier for me to do that? I'm just making that transition of, okay, like, maybe this is when I do a certain project. Every week I work on this one project. I don't know.

Val Selby [00:09:45]:
I've been throwing, like, spaghetti at the wall. It's like, okay. This week, what does this feel like? Okay. This week, what does that feel like as I've used in the, you know, preseason and all that. And nothing is stuck yet, but I have a good feeling about this weekend. A really good feeling about this weekend. So where was I going with all this? Time. Time.

Val Selby [00:10:07]:
Time. Time. There's not enough time. There's never enough time. We have to prioritize where and with whom we want to spend our time. And that is especially important in our business. It takes that focus of this is where you want to go. This is your longer term goal for the year.

Val Selby [00:10:31]:
I always like to do one long term goal. What is my one goal for the year? And then it gets broken down into 90 days to hit that goal at the end of the year. So then what am I focusing on to get to that goal within that 90 day period? What am I going to work on that will bring that goal forward. And that's why the focus is important is because then when things are pulling my attention, the shiny objects come in, they still come in for me. There's so much fun out there. Even biz wise, it's like, oh, I wanna go do this, I wanna do that. Oh my gosh. This summit would be great.

Val Selby [00:11:13]:
I know I could learn a ton from this or this over here. Like, oh gosh, I could do this workshop. That's all still pulling at my attention and always will. I acknowledge that. It just always will. As creative people, entrepreneurs are creative people, there's always going to be something that we're going to want to learn more about. Shiny objects are always gonna be there. And they'll be there even if we weren't entrepreneurs.

Val Selby [00:11:37]:
There'd be something else. Right? It'd be the new hobby. What's this new hobby? What's this? So part of helping with the focus is realizing that that's gonna come in there. That these things are going to be poking and saying, hey. And it's up to us to look at our focus and decide if this is a, okay, we can add this in right now because it's gonna help us get to our goals, or I'm gonna go and write this down someplace. You know, I have Asana list that have stuff on there from, you know, a few years ago even, that I'm just like, okay, I really wanna do this. Oh my God, it'd be so much fun.

Val Selby [00:12:18]:
I'm about ready to spend money. This would take our attention away from hitting our goals and going in that direction. Okay. That means it's not within my focus. So I'm just gonna go and put it over there, and I'll revisit at the end of my 90 day goal period and see if that's something that gets to be get brought in. Again, that's why having that focus is so important. And it's why when we don't have that focus, we really hit that I don't have time because we start grabbing everything. We start learning everything.

Val Selby [00:12:53]:
If you are like me, you end up with when you don't have a focus, because even when I do have a focus, I have this issue of I'm on so many lists. I'm following so many amazing people. They come out with new amazing workshops and group programs and masterminds, and it's like, oh my god, this is all so good. And even with my focus, there's oftentimes that it's tough for me to go, no. Not right now. But it'd be so much fun. No, Val. Not right now.

Val Selby [00:13:34]:
And remind myself, you know, what would be even more fun is making so much more money that we're like, oh, okay. We don't even need to do that. Or we do it down the road and we pay for the year in advance. You know, it's just like, you know what's even more fun? Making money. Being more focused makes more money. Doing this and this and this and this and this makes me less money. Cause and effect. Focus helps with the time, because you're less likely to bring the other stuff in. It's like, okay, this isn't not working towards what I'm focused towards later.

Val Selby [00:14:10]:
And, again, don't know what to do. The focus. We've already talked about that. Right? I talked about that last week. When you don't know what to do, it's because you are really lacking the focus. You don't know what that next direction is. And, again, it's a easy, easy excuse. I don't know what to do.

Val Selby [00:14:26]:
There's so much to do. I don't know what to do. You do know what to do. You're just not trusting your gut. You know the next direction that you want to go, and sometimes you just need to talk it out. I hear that. I mean, half the time, okay, I'll be conservative. Half the time when I'm coming on here on the podcast, I am talking this shit out, out of my own brain.

Val Selby [00:14:49]:
I am sharing what's going on in my own brain as I'm working it out and processing. Because I have human brain, I have to tell myself all the time. Hey, you do have time when you don't sit there and stare out the window because the sun just popped out. You haven't seen it in 24 hours. Or, man, look at how much more time I have when I don't sit and watch this TV show that I don't even really like anyways, but I'm stuck in it. So I reality junkie, I have to go to the end and I have to keep watching. No. I don't.

Val Selby [00:15:26]:
No. I don't. How about I do something more fun like make money? How about I stay on focus and like really focus on this project and it makes money? How fun would that be, Val? So pay attention. When you are telling yourself that you don't have enough time, especially pay attention if you're telling other people, well, I don't have time. When that pops out of your mouth, that thought pops into your head, sit with it. Sit with it and go, really? Do I really not have enough time? Or am I spending my time on things that I don't want to do? Because that's usually - that's often a big one. Or am I spending time doing the things that I do want to do and I'm not giving myself full permission? Like I said, I had issues previously with I would drop everything and reschedule everything and with my family, and it's too bad I couldn't wrap my head around it faster back then, but that was okay. That was okay.

Val Selby [00:16:32]:
That was my priority. That was my focus. My business was definitely a much lower focus. And again, that's okay. I don't regret it. I just wish I hadn't beat myself up so much trying to think that I could do all of it at 100%. It's not possible, babe. Not possible.

Val Selby [00:16:52]:
Not possible. We're human. We have human issues of 24 hours. We get to choose what the best use of our time is. So, is today a day that the family's gonna suck up all the time? I mean that in a good way. If so, then just set business aside. Know that you are not doing anything work related. Just know it.

Val Selby [00:17:20]:
Just own it so you can be present. And we're all talking about being present. That's a big part of being present, is recognizing where you want to spend your time and just being there when you're spending your time. And it works the same for business. I mean, I don't know how many group coaching programs or anything that I am on, and especially now I'm on and they're always doing other things. And it's very, very obvious when you are on Zoom calls with a group and barely anybody has their camera on. I know why they don't have their camera on because I know when I turn my camera off, it's because I'm multitasking, and I don't wanna feel like I'm being rude. Guess what? We know.

Val Selby [00:18:05]:
We know. If you don't have your camera on, you're multitasking and you're not fully present. And if I call on you for a question, you're not gonna know what the hell I'm saying. We know. Why are we pretending? If we don't have time to show up for programs, then let's not be in them. Isn't that a novel idea? How much time would you get back? Oh, this is going down a rabbit hole. Here we go. Hold on.

Val Selby [00:18:27]:
How much time would we have if we only chose the memberships, the programs, the workshops, the summits that we are actually going to commit to being to and being at. It takes away our mental space, even just deleting the emails and going, I really wanted to go with that, but this is more important. So be aware. Be aware of how you are expecting to spend your time and how you are probably booking yourself for 36 hours in a 12 hour, in a 24 hour period when you're supposed to get some sleep in there as well, and cook and clean and all the other life stuff. So focus plus deciding what you're going to work on, which becomes easier when you have focus, is going to equal getting your time back because you're going to stay in your focus. Which means that when things pop into you in and poke at you and grab at you and try to grab you and pull you away, it will be easier because you're gonna be like, nope. This is not in my focus. So not today.

Val Selby [00:19:37]:
As I say, not today, Satan. When I'm getting really annoyed at all of the stuff coming in my direction, not today, Satan. Don't pull me away. I'm gonna be focused. That's the 123. 1 plus 2 equals 3 silliness, and I hope that you got some information out of that. If you would like some more personalized help, just reach out. I'm here for you.

Val Selby [00:20:02]:
I've got group programs. I've got 1-on-1 coaching. I've got just plain old email coaching. All the different ways that we can connect, different workshops. I've got a new one coming up that I'm not quite ready today to talk about, but it will definitely be in next week's episode. I will bring it up, but it's definitely gonna be launching really quick. So make sure that you are down there. Grab the Collaboration is Easy guide, and that will help you with 3 super duper easy free ways to be working on growing your collaborations without taking away from your business.

Val Selby [00:20:44]:
And then once you're on that list, you will definitely get notification of all of the upcoming launches and more. And then you can always hit reply to any of those emails and get me right away because I answer my own emails. All right. Like I said, the sun just popped out. So obviously that means I'm supposed to go do some errands and get focused. I will chat at you next week. Thank you for being here. Bye.